You might be a ricer if:

[clawhammer]

... you find yourself using the excuse 'yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, dude after EVERY race
... you drive a 4 door 'type R'
... your gumby pants make it hard to shift
... more than 20 of your mods involve shielding what is actually underneath
... you have stickers that even most asians don't get
... you have stickers for parts you dont have
... you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'
... your car has so much camber it can drive on its side
... when you drive by, WWII veterans run for shelter
... your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter
... you have 'power by' anything anywhere on a car made by the engine manufacturer
... birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees
... you sell crack for the image...not the money
... you have 'N/T' polished on the side of car and you don't know what bracket racing is...
... you will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs
... you can't race uphills
... you have "All Motor" emblazoned on your rear hatch right next to your 14.50 dial in
... you brag to have nitrous and have a 14.50 dial in
... your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-stock cars
... you spent more money on stickers and stripes than your parents paid for your car
... you go to a performance shop and immediately start rummaging through the decal bin
... your tach is bigger than your head
... you have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic
... you refuse to race because it's a "show car"
... your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip
... at Autocross events you don't participate because you have a drag race setup and at drag events you brag about kicking ass on the autocross.
... you have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Voyager
... you brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed.
... your exhaust sounds like a dying Moose
... your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine.

[Andydg]

So true.

[illegal_eagle187]

funny

[chevytrucks92]

Yeah, so my car is technically an automatic and I have a shift light LOL!.

Pretty funny stuff though. I try to read it in Jeff Foxworthy style!

[i3o2Matt]

Originally Posted by clawhammer

...you can't race uphills

thats because that's AGAINST inertia...duh!

[CassiesMan]

You forgot a few...

-Your car is fast becuase it can go 80 in third without redlining
-You wear your hat backwards because its more aerodynamically sound
-You dont know what aerodynamically sound is
-You live your life a quarter mile at a time, meaning your life is long, drawn out, and over all rather unimpressive
-You have a bumper made for two 3inch exhaust outlets, yet you only have one exuahst pipe, it its only an inch wide
-You brag about never getting caught by the man, when in reality, your not going fast enough to get the mans attention
-You think that your bone stock Honda Civic coupe ("with a custom fit exhaust from a Type R"), with a body kit and single weak ass 10inch sub with a "custom" enclosre (read standard enclosre with some cheap decals on it) and poorly installed interior LEDs you got at Walmart is enough to get you a sponsorship (true story)
-My 15.4ish second is uber fast, and I must have some mad mods
-You consider the Supra and Skyline to be the god of all vehicles, and anytime either are beat in a race, it must be by a purpose built race car
-Even with Nitrous, your still a mid to high 15 second car (Saleen Focus N20 anybody?)
-You refere to the Honda S2000 as the Honda 2000, and say Honda 2000 with a shitty surfer accent
-Fast and the Furious is a documentary
-Vin Deisel is a God among men (I admit, I think hes a haldway decent actor, and as soon as he gets out of these damned character roles, he'll be fine)
-Your body kit is held on by zip ties and bungee cords...but you've never been drifting.
-My bottle of soda holds more than your engine displaces.
-I can outwalk your car
-Somewhere on your car, no matter who makes it, be it domestic, european, or asian...it has a sticker that says Powered by Honda, Vtec Inside, or Type R
-You have a supercharged turbo that runs off a direct wet nitrous system with dry injection

And most of all....

-You know your a ricer when your bad ass uber racing mobile of doom Type R with custom body kit and laser etched glass and lightweight performance wheels produces less tourqe than it takes to tighten or loosen the lug nuts on my wheels.

Im outy, peace.

[mason_RsX]

Originally Posted by CassiesMan

You forgot a few...
-You wear your hat backwards because its more aerodynamically sound
-You dont know what aerodynamically sound is

those were good, and so so true

[Ace$nyper]

Originally Posted by clawhammer

you drive a 4 door 'type R'

there happens to be a very rare non US market 4 door integra type R off the teg chassis.

Just to ruin your fun

[xXxRocker5150]

Originally Posted by CassiesMan

You forgot a few...


-You live your life a quarter mile at a time, meaning your life is long, drawn out, and over all rather unimpressive

-Fast and the Furious is a documentary

Im outy, peace.

[drftk1d]

...your friends can hear the lawnmower coming down the street before they see it

[-The Stig-]

I've posted most of these myself back in the day.


Just wanted to ruin your day.

[speedthrill]

The Japanese stickers on yr ricemobile aren't really Japanese, just some made up signs. But as you can't read Japanese, you believe they are.

[JekylandHyde]

The first step is admitting your problem.
I think we should all applaud clawhammer's courage in admitting his problem.

We're here for you clawhammer.
It is very brave of you ... accepting your disease.
We support you man.

[mason_RsX]

Yeah Clawhammer its good you finally admitted it, we were gonna have an intervention

when I saw you putting your leftover v-tec stickers on ur lawnmower, and claiming now it gets 300rwhp I knoew you have gone too far

[clawhammer]

Originally Posted by JekylandHyde

The first step is admitting your problem.
I think we should all applaud clawhammer's courage in admitting his problem.

We're here for you clawhammer.
It is very brave of you ... accepting your disease.
We support you man.

[/QOUTE]

Good one. Last time I checked though Hyde was full of stickers


I thought you went back to stock ignition on Hyde. Why do you have an MSD sticker?

That right there is one of the definitions of rice: having stickers for parts that aren't even in your car. Ricer. I'm just joking.