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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
06-09-2004, 09:35 PM
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Dear Diary
Worth the read
 Dear Diary, I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman." I am thinking "what was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed dept. store... I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to take all three. She wanted matching shoes, I said "let's get a pair for each outfit." We went to the jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you .. she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this. You should have seen her face when she said "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out "No honey, I don't feel like buying all of this stuff now." You should have seen her face... it went completely blank. I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man." I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008. 
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#2
06-09-2004, 09:38 PM
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Re: Dear Diary
hahahahaha, good one, i like it
 
__________________
 Badgers, goin to the Rose Bowl this year!!
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#3
06-09-2004, 09:38 PM
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Re: Dear Diary
Oh my!
2008, hey! When I graduate college!!! Aniwho, dang, genius on the guy's part, I must say, really... 
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#4
06-09-2004, 10:07 PM
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that's good stuff!!!
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2004 SRT-4 1998 GMC 2500 1996 Eagle Talon TSi AWD Turbo 1993 Eagle Talon TSi AWD Turbo 1985 Nissan 300ZX Turbo 1990 Nissan 300ZX Twin Turbo  Past Z Cars Crew   
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#7
06-09-2004, 10:54 PM
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Re: Dear Diary
oh lawdy that's funny.
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blindside.AMG: i just turned on my HIGH VELOCITY AIR CIRCULATOR on blindside.AMG: fancy huh pickle: does it have a big name to compensate for your small penis? blindside.AMG: you know it baby blindside.AMG: but in all seriousness blindside.AMG: the Benz is to compensate for my small penis Ssom: I am a very sexy man and should be making some caramel coloured babies with white women
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#10
06-10-2004, 12:41 AM
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Re: Dear Diary
BURN!! That was beautiful!
__________________
 1977 GMC Jimmy - daily driver-sitting on 33's and bedliner inside and out 1995 9C1 Caprice - winter beater 1994 Impala SS - newest project 1991 9C1 Caprice - (rip) "There are two great problems in the world today; an ever-growing lack of common sense, and too many warning labels. Take away all of the warning labels and the problem will work itself out..." -B
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#13
06-10-2004, 03:32 AM
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Re: Dear Diary
Haha...funny.
Spring 2008 huh? After that, you're expecting to have sex again so soon? 
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#14
06-10-2004, 08:30 AM
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Re: Dear Diary
I think not having sex will be the least of that guys worries for a while.....
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karmas a bitch!
