Having fun w/men!

[speediva]

Looks like we need a bit of a "jump-start" to get this forum going again!

Maybe just for fun we can make this a thread about men-bashing jokes??? I know I have a ton of them somewhere! *lol*

For starters:

What's the difference between men and government bonds??
--Bonds mature.

How are men and parking spaces the same?
--All the good ones are taken and the rest are "handicapped".

Post away ladies!

[RevHappy Cowgirl®]

Originally posted by saturntangerine
How are men and parking spaces the same?
--All the good ones are taken and the rest are "handicapped".

Speaking of parking spaces, I have a pet peeve.... well, you know how sometimes those people with tiny little Geos always try to barge into a 5 foot space between cars on busy streets with no spots so that the cars on either end in the original spots can't get out? I find that annoying

Anyhoo....back on topic,

Q: What should you give a man who has everything?
A: A woman to show him how to work it.

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

and my personal favorite:

Q: Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

[Shell]

Aaaaah tangie....men-bashing, my fave

here we go hehe:

Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Men are like.....Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.....Cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like.....Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like.....Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like.....Snowstorms.
You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long they'll will last..

But I like men....really!!!

[Spunkymonkey]

Haha...... LOL

[speediva]

Omigosh! Those are great!

I'll come back and post some more jokes just as soon as my e-mail provider figures out what it is they're trying to do!