Why dont they just say "we dont trust you"

[jon@af]

Ok, Im seriously pissed off right now; not only have did my parents completely dick any chance of me having a night with my friends, but they do it so theycan go to a party and make me stay home to watch my brother, who is almost 16 fucking years old. Now, I know that may sound selfish, but here's the deal: as I said, my brother is almost 16 years old, and they want me to stay home with him? Why? they trust him more than they do me for some stupid reason, yet I have to make sure that he can wipe his ass ok .
It started today when I was at work and my friend Jeremy asked if I wanted to hang out with him tonight along with a couple of other friends from work, have a few beers, play some games, watch some movies; I thought that it would be fun, so I called my mom and told her what I was planning, where I would be, who would be there, and asked if she could bring me a change of clothes and a couple of my games. So, I think, "hey, cool, I get to stay in town tonight, and finally relax after the week from hell at school before break." Nope, I was wrong.
My parents pull up in front of the wash bay where I work and I go out to get my clothes, my dad rolls down his window and, as he hands me the bag says, "now what are your plans so I can dash them." So I told him again, where I was going, what we were doing, and who I was going to be with. Then he looks at me and says "well, I need you to come home right after work and watch your brother so while we go over to Terry and Rusty's house." Pissed off, I shove that bag back in the window at my dad and say "fine, keep the clothes, Im not going to need them." he starts getting all pissy and I look at him and say "Dad, what the hell am I going to need clean clothes for when Im just going to go home? What purpose at all would that serve me?" My moms like "well you have to come to church" I pointed out to her that I ALWAYS make it to chruch the next morning, even if Im hungover and it's 8 o' fucking clock, I still make it home AND to chruch on time. They started saying something, but I really didnt care at that point, I just walked back inside. They tried calling me a couple times, but I ignored it. Got home, they didnt say but two or three words to me.

Goddamnit, Im 18 years old, and my parents treat my like a little child. Yes, I know, you older members are going to be sitting there saying "you'll thank them when you're older." well, save it, I dont need a lecture, I need to vent. Whenever I do anything outside of my house, they know when I am doing what, where Im doing it, whom I am doing it with, and what time I plan to be home the next morning, not to mention I have my phone on all the time so they can call whenever they want. I dont know about you, but that's pretty generous on my part; most kids my age just go and dont tell their parents shit, my parents know when I fucking fart. I mean honestly, is it that much to ask to spend a night away from my house where I spend 6 days of the week every week of my life? I dont think so. What the fuck are they gonna do when I move to college? move in with me? Call me and make sure I have clean undies? Christ almighty, maybe I should remind them of when they were my age, and when they wanted their independence. Anyways, Im done; I feel a little better.

[Diesel2NR]

I just turned down a party actually. I'm just not into it anymore. My parents used to do that same thing to me when I first got my license, but I guess they trust me more now. The hardly even ask where I'm going if I just walk out the door and tell'em "I'm going somewhere. I'll be back later tonight". I've shown them I'm a responsible person and I think my actions through. I guess that's why they're so leniant. But watching your 16 year old brother?? That's a shitty excuse for them. Can he not take care of himself??

[taranaki]

Find somewhere to rent,move out,pay all your own bills and do all of your own housework and laundry.You'll have less money,less free time, less company,and a shitload more responsibilities,but,hey,you'll be independant.


Don't knock what you've got until you've tried the alternatives.

Not the kind of advice you wanted,but I wanted to vent too.

[CeeJay]

Originally Posted by ILike2DriveCars

Ok, Im seriously pissed off right now; not only have did my parents completely dick any chance of me having a night with my friends, but they do it so theycan go to a party and make me stay home to watch my brother, who is almost 16 fucking years old. Now, I know that may sound selfish, but here's the deal: as I said, my brother is almost 16 years old, and they want me to stay home with him? Why? they trust him more than they do me for some stupid reason, yet I have to make sure that he can wipe his ass ok .
It started today when I was at work and my friend Jeremy asked if I wanted to hang out with him tonight along with a couple of other friends from work, have a few beers, play some games, watch some movies; I thought that it would be fun, so I called my mom and told her what I was planning, where I would be, who would be there, and asked if she could bring me a change of clothes and a couple of my games. So, I think, "hey, cool, I get to stay in town tonight, and finally relax after the week from hell at school before break." Nope, I was wrong.
My parents pull up in front of the wash bay where I work and I go out to get my clothes, my dad rolls down his window and, as he hands me the bag says, "now what are your plans so I can dash them." So I told him again, where I was going, what we were doing, and who I was going to be with. Then he looks at me and says "well, I need you to come home right after work and watch your brother so while we go over to Terry and Rusty's house." Pissed off, I shove that bag back in the window at my dad and say "fine, keep the clothes, Im not going to need them." he starts getting all pissy and I look at him and say "Dad, what the hell am I going to need clean clothes for when Im just going to go home? What purpose at all would that serve me?" My moms like "well you have to come to church" I pointed out to her that I ALWAYS make it to chruch the next morning, even if Im hungover and it's 8 o' fucking clock, I still make it home AND to chruch on time. They started saying something, but I really didnt care at that point, I just walked back inside. They tried calling me a couple times, but I ignored it. Got home, they didnt say but two or three words to me.

Goddamnit, Im 18 years old, and my parents treat my like a little child. Yes, I know, you older members are going to be sitting there saying "you'll thank them when you're older." well, save it, I dont need a lecture, I need to vent. Whenever I do anything outside of my house, they know when I am doing what, where Im doing it, whom I am doing it with, and what time I plan to be home the next morning, not to mention I have my phone on all the time so they can call whenever they want. I dont know about you, but that's pretty generous on my part; most kids my age just go and dont tell their parents shit, my parents know when I fucking fart. I mean honestly, is it that much to ask to spend a night away from my house where I spend 6 days of the week every week of my life? I dont think so. What the fuck are they gonna do when I move to college? move in with me? Call me and make sure I have clean undies? Christ almighty, maybe I should remind them of when they were my age, and when they wanted their independence. Anyways, Im done; I feel a little better.

Nice language you've got there for a church-goer. Don't forget to repent or you'll burn in hell

So, you're 18 are you ?. Could have fooled me - I read your post and guessed you to be around 13.

Move out ( as taranaki suggests ) and stand on your own two feet like a man. Then you'll be able to go out 24/7 if you want.

[chicago_guy]

I can name at least 10 people who have it worse off than you...parents-wise I mean. But watching your 16 yr old bro was a really bad excuse for your parents to use. I can imagine my 18 yr old bro watching me for the night...lol...it wouldnt exactly work because Im bigger than him, so if I wanted to go somewhere, Id go.

[jon@af]

Originally Posted by CeeJay

Nice language you've got there for a church-goer. Don't forget to repent or you'll burn in hell

First of all, dont judge me, you dont know me, and Im sure you're not perfect either. This is stress release and I was doing that; let me worry about what I say. Real cool going through my post and pointing out that I swore by the way, I hadnt realized I put them in there, were it not for you I would have forgotten.

Originally Posted by CeeJay

So, you're 18 are you ?. Could have fooled me - I read your post and guessed you to be around 13.

Was that even needed? I mean really? I was getting something off my chest, It may seem petty to you, but it made me feel better, you know what I mean? Sure, I sound like the average kid bitching, which I can understand, but you know what? Had I known I was going to have you make snide remarks about my age I would have just kept my mouth shut.

Originally Posted by CeeJay

Move out ( as taranaki suggests ) and stand on your own two feet like a man. Then you'll be able to go out 24/7 if you want

Once, again, comes into play the pissed of and venting thing; venting means Im helping myself get over it so Im not so pissed of. I know that this is something I have to deal with, and that Im sure I will find a way to. What it boils down to is I wish that my parents would trust me enough to know that when I tell them that Im doing something, they believe me. You cant sit there and tell me that you never had that issue with your parents.


Dave, I know what you are saying; sadly, my job doesnt pay me enough to be able to afford a place, or I would. As soon as I find a higher paying job, Im looking for a roommate. I know, I know, cherish what you've got; Im glad for what I have, and I know it's a lot more than others have, but like I said, I wish my parents would let me have my freedom. I dont ask to do anything during the week because I know they will just say no, I figure a saturday night to myself with some of my friends isnt too much to ask.

[CeeJay]

Originally Posted by ILike2DriveCars

First of all, dont judge me, you dont know me, and Im sure you're not perfect either. This is stress release and I was doing that; let me worry about what I say. Real cool going through my post and pointing out that I swore by the way, I hadnt realized I put them in there, were it not for you I would have forgotten.

First of all .. don't assume I'm judging you. Apparently that's the job of some person known as god, and the reason I picked up on your foul mouthed language is because in another thread on here, we're discussing churchgoers, christians, sinning and forgiveness etc etc .. and I found it funny that you're a churchgoer with a mouth like that. Nothing personal, OK.

Was that even needed? I mean really? I was getting something off my chest, It may seem petty to you, but it made me feel better, you know what I mean? Sure, I sound like the average kid bitching, which I can understand, but you know what? Had I known I was going to have you make snide remarks about my age I would have just kept my mouth shut.

Yep. It was totally needed. In case you don't know, this is a discussion forum and we're all free to comment on anything we read here What you wrote does come across as being written by a kid. Sure, I can accept you're angry about the situation you found yourself in, but instead of venting ( which isn't a bad thing ), why not try and turn a negative into a positive ... approach your parents and ask them politely why they asked you to look after your brother, when they knew you'd already made plans to go out with your friends. Make it clear that in future, if you make plans and let them know you've made plans, then you'll be sticking to them unless an emergency crops up ( and your parents wanting to go to a party, isn't an emergency ). Couldn't you have taken your brother with you ?.

Once, again, comes into play the pissed of and venting thing; venting means Im helping myself get over it so Im not so pissed of. I know that this is something I have to deal with, and that Im sure I will find a way to. What it boils down to is I wish that my parents would trust me enough to know that when I tell them that Im doing something, they believe me. You cant sit there and tell me that you never had that issue with your parents.

I had that with my parents, and I moved out because I wanted my own freedom and independence. Try and find out why your parents don't trust you, and then, if you manage to do that .. reassure them that they have nothing to worry about.

[jon@af]

Originally Posted by CeeJay

First of all .. don't assume I'm judging you. Apparently that's the job of some person known as god, and the reason I picked up on your foul mouthed language is because in another thread on here, we're discussing churchgoers, christians, sinning and forgiveness etc etc .. and I found it funny that you're a churchgoer with a mouth like that. Nothing personal, OK.

Yep. It was totally needed. In case you don't know, this is a discussion forum and we're all free to comment on anything we read here What you wrote does come across as being written by a kid. Sure, I can accept you're angry about the situation you found yourself in, but instead of venting ( which isn't a bad thing ), why not try and turn a negative into a positive ... approach your parents and ask them politely why they asked you to look after your brother, when they knew you'd already made plans to go out with your friends. Make it clear that in future, if you make plans and let them know you've made plans, then you'll be sticking to them unless an emergency crops up ( and your parents wanting to go to a party, isn't an emergency ). Couldn't you have taken your brother with you ?.

I had that with my parents, and I moved out because I wanted my own freedom and independence. Try and find out why your parents don't trust you, and then, if you manage to do that .. reassure them that they have nothing to worry about.

Honestly, (and please dont take this as offensive as it's not meant to be) I feel that if you're athiest that's your business, and If I go to church that's mine. Kinda a "I wont take shots at your belief(or lack thereof) if you dont take shots at mine" thing, ya know? But, I understand what you are saying; Im still working on my mouth.

My parents dont listen to me, therefore I dont waste time talking to them about it, because it is of no use to me to do so. I would take my brother, but I dont think my parents would really like that too much. Besides, my brother and I are two completely different personalities, and he doesnt really like my friends.

Until my job gives me better hours, and more pay, or I find a new one, Im stuck in the house. But, I do know that in a couple years Im not no matter what; transfering to a college downstate. I'll either live in a dorm or a apartment, but either way, Im out.

[CeeJay]

Originally Posted by ILike2DriveCars

... (and please dont take this as offensive as it's not meant to be) ...

No offence taken, or meant

Have your parents always been this way, or not - did you do something sometime, which made them like they are ?.

[jon@af]

I dont know. I think it's one of those cases that they're still coming to grips with me becoming more of my own individual and they dont know how to handle it persay. But that's just my definition.

[TexasF355F1]

Man Jon, that really blows. I'm definately not gonna tell you you'll thank them when your older..........b/c you won't. I had to deal with shit growing up too(not a sibling since im an only child). Everyone goes through. I was actually the only one up until i turned 21 that had a curfue. Now that pissed me off. But now i can come home(when im actually in town) at 4 or whatever and they don't say anything. But for some reason(my dad can't put his finger on it either)I have to wake my mom up every time i come home late. I understand what its like to miss going out, but just take a breath, calm down and relax a little bit. I've learned to kinda let shit like that go b/c i found it makes it worse on yourself. Just remember to sweat the big stuff and let the little stuff go. I hope ya get to have the night out with your boys though, cuz its always a lot of fun.

[Toksin]

Take it easy Jon, talk to them and sort it out. My parents were a little bit like that at first, but they can trust me, and they know it. Now when I go out, they don't care if I come home at 1, at 3, or 8am (done that a few times). I just tell them if I'm staying at home that night or not. With the new house I usually crash at a mate's after a night on the town. It'll work out man, no sweat

[Oz]

I really don't see why a whole heap of t0ssers are giving you grief over this thread. I think you have absolutely every right to expect to go out and enjoy yourself on the weekend in a fairly responsible way. Completely with you man. Ignore the majority of the rest of the thread.

Oh, and stop going to church. THAT shit is bad for you

[NissanRacing]

I know how you feel. Also everyone in this post that said that your parents are right and that you can't be right until you live alone is ignorant, stupid, probably either 50 or 10, and probably never had any friends. Don't listen to them. For one thing, living by yourself doesn't ahve anything to do with the facts here. First, you're 18. Your an adult so to hell with your parents, even if you live at home when your 30 you still have the right to do whatever you want since your an adult. Second, the reason you had to come home wasn't even a good reason. Why the hell would you have to watch a 16 year old person? I would understand if their was something important, or something that required you, but to watch a young adult, no, thats messed up. Third, you already had plans. It might be ok for them to ask you if they knew that you were coming home anyway and were staying home, but to make you do this even though they knew you had made other plans is messed up. You are an adult with a job and a life and despite where you live you should be able to make plans for yourself and do what you want within reason. What your parents did was wrong, and what these idiots are saying is wrong.

[taranaki]

Originally Posted by NissanRacing

I know how you feel. Also everyone in this post that said that your parents are right and that you can't be right until you live alone is ignorant, stupid, probably either 50 or 10, and probably never had any friends. Don't listen to them. For one thing, living by yourself doesn't ahve anything to do with the facts here. First, you're 18. Your an adult so to hell with your parents, even if you live at home when your 30 you still have the right to do whatever you want since your an adult. Second, the reason you had to come home wasn't even a good reason. Why the hell would you have to watch a 16 year old person? I would understand if their was something important, or something that required you, but to watch a young adult, no, thats messed up. Third, you already had plans. It might be ok for them to ask you if they knew that you were coming home anyway and were staying home, but to make you do this even though they knew you had made other plans is messed up. You are an adult with a job and a life and despite where you live you should be able to make plans for yourself and do what you want within reason. What your parents did was wrong, and what these idiots are saying is wrong.

Pardon me,but I find your post totally offensive.Just because some of us were brought up to respect our parents,doesn't make us idiots.For the record,I am neither 50 nor 10, and yes,I do have friends.I also love and respect my parents.Even though it is a long time since I left home,even when they are guests in my house,I show a bit of deferrence to their values,and listen with respect to their opinions.Put bluntly,if someone wants all the bonuses of living with their parents,they need to accept the occasional downside.

As for looking after a 16 year old - I'd consider it a compliment that your parents consider you to be significantly more mature than your brother.If it's any consolation,I still get pissed off when my wife wants to go out and I get left stuck at home to care our children.