Need some advice..

[NissanSkylineGTR98]

Hey guys, first time posting a thread in here. I've got a real strange situation. Last night my GF and I broke up. We were together for 15 months. She says she still has feelings for her ex. Heres the problem, said Ex lives over seas and she has never met the guy. I fail to see why someone would throw away a physical relationship of over a year for someone whom she has never met before. I'd like to rebuild things but I need to keep my cool. Can anyone give me some advice on how to gain control of the situation? Is it possible this is just some irrational thought on her behalf and she may realize her mistake with time? Thanks guys, any help is appreciated

[fredjacksonsan]

Never met someone and leaving you for them. Ok it can happen, but I mean really.

[MagicRat]

So I presume Ex is an on-line relationship. Relationship advisers have called the Internet 'the biggest relationship-wrecker ever invented.'
On-line or penpal relationships are attractive because they are not real. So much of the perceived attractiveness or compatibility takes place in the minds of the participants. They cannot see the flaws but often only see the ideals that they want to. So its tough for a 'real' relationship to compete.

Personally. I think your girl is either deluding herself, or there is something going on that you do not know about. This whole thing may be true, or she may be trying to maniplulate you.

Either way, Imo you should move on with your life. Yes, it may be tough to say goodbye to 15 months of your life, but she has really screwed it up. So, move on to the next relationship. There are so many good and decent ladies out there, it is not worth wasting your time or future on an unsatisfactory one.

Besides, if she sees you moving on with confidence and vision, she may come to her senses and return. If not, her loss.

[oldblu65]

Sounds like this online ex may just by " means to an end " ! Do you know if he exists or maybe just a " figment of her imagination " ? Maybe she just wants out of the relationship and this is her " means " to explain the " why " of her decision ? I'd say , let her go and don't look back ! You have nothing to gain by trying to hold on and lots to lose ! Just my uneducated $ 0.02 !

[akboss]

It is strange that she would 'fall in love' with someone she has never met, and it seems like that would be the only reason to leave one relationship for another. I would have to ask the same question as OldBlu65 - is she just using this as a scapegoat to avoid problems in the relationship? How has it been going for the last 6 months, have things been good? The best person to talk to is your GF - be completely transparent and honest about what you're thinking and feeling, and ask why on earth she wants to be with a guy she has never met - people can be whoever they want to be on the internet, in person it's much more difficult to fake it.

Wait, wait a second - you said her 'ex'. Her ex she has never met??? How does that work? I give her a little credit for at least settling things with you first - the lowest a person can stoop is to go behind their lover's back and cheat, and she was strong enough not to do that.

[NissanSkylineGTR98]

Things were pretty good despite minor, frequent arguements. I received an email from her friday saying shes been really upset about it etc. She also said she wasnt sure it was the right decision and that if we tried again it may turn out the same. I replied that I need some time to myself to think and get rid of some bad habbits. I've decided to give her space and let her think things over. I have no intentions of begging her to come back or anything like that. In the meantime i've dedicated myself towards bettering myself. Thanks again guys

[MagicRat]

Originally Posted by NissanSkylineGTR98

I've decided to give her space and let her think things over. I have no intentions of begging her to come back or anything like that. In the meantime i've dedicated myself towards bettering myself.

[radioads]

I am really sad to hear that you and your girl friend are now a days having a breakup. Let us hope for the best that soon you guys will have the relation back to each other.

[Muscletang]

Originally Posted by NissanSkylineGTR98

Can anyone give me some advice on how to gain control of the situation?

Threaten to kill her, in a loving way, if she doesn't straighten up. If that doesn't change her nothing will.

[oldblu65]

Threatening to kill someone ( even in a loving way ? ) can get you some serious jail time !