Doctor DVS

[primera man]

Doctor DVS had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice within himself, trying to reassure him:
"DVS, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last.
And you're single. Let it go......"
But invariably the other voice inside his head would bring him back to reality: "DVS, you're a vet...."
.
.
.
.
.


Thought it was time i had a dig at me old mate DVS
:finger: :finger: :finger: :finger:

[Ssom]

Originally posted by primera man





Thought it was time i had a dig at me old mate DVS
:finger: :finger: :finger: :finger:

Too right :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2:


Very nice PMan :silly2:


Don't blame me when you see Doc digging your shallow grave :finger:

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, had a couple of left-over things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Primera Man and Primera lady in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability." Primera Man popped a cork!! He jumped up and begged, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a Man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. I'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or screwing the animals, I could just let it rip, I'd be sooooo cool. Oh please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please........." On and on he went like an excited little boy (who had to pee ).

Primera Lady just smiled and shook her head at the display. She told God that if Primera Man really wanted it so badly, and it sure seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, she really wouldn't mind if Primera Man were the one given the ability to stand up and pee. And so it was. And it was...........well, good. "Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of left-over gifts. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."







Touche!

[ragt20]

hiding in a corner laughing hehehehehehehehe

[Moppie]

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
"What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."

Warren! Little man I think you have some explianing to do!

[primera man]

DVS had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress.
He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as
possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his
door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there.

"Name's RAGS....Your neighbor from 40 miles away....Having a party
Friday....Thought you might like to come. About 5..."
"Great" says DVS, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local
folks. Thank you."

As RAGS is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some
drinkin."
"Not a problem....after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of
em."

Again, as he starts to leave, RAGS stops. "More'n likely gonna be some
fightin' too."
DVS says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again RAGS turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these
parties, too."
"Now that's really not a problem" says DVS. "I've been all alone for six
months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"

RAGS stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the
two of us."



:finger: :finger: :finger: :finger: :finger: :finger:

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Primera Man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

[Moppie]

And thats 2 points each!

But it looks like Pman is come back for a 3rd round!

[primera man]

Sheriff Moppie is the Sheriff in a small town and walks out in the street and sees DVS coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots.
So Moppie arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up
he asks " Why in the world are you dressed like this'?
DVS: " Well it's like this Moppie... I was in the bar down the road
and this pretty little redhead asks me to go out to her motor home with her....and I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt...so I did....

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants..So I
did... Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...So I did... Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of funny and says: "Now go
to town cowboy...."
So here I am!

[Moppie]

Originally posted by primera man
Sheriff Moppie is the Sheriff in a small town and walks out in the street and sees DVS......................

How did you know I worked as a Sheriff part time on week ends!




looks like 3-2 in Pmans favour, can the Doc make up the missing point........

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Primera Man breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS ROTWEILER "JESUS".

[Moppie]

3 ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

[YogsVR4]

Damn!













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[primera man]

DVS was traveling through the countryside, selling insect
repellent.
He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my
bug spray
is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it."

The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition.
I'll tie
you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If
there is
not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from
you."

DVS was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped.
The
farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a
stake.
Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and
his
family trooped out to the corn field. Sure enough, the salesman was
there,
hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total
wreck!
Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him.

The farmer was perplexed. "DVS," he said, "Now, you don't have a
bite on you
but you look like hell! What the devil happened?"

DVS looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, "For
crying out
loud, Mister, doesn't that calf have a Mother!!!"

[Moppie]

Originally posted by primera man


DVS looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, "For
crying out
loud, Mister, doesn't that calf have a Mother!!!"

LOL!!!

1/2 a Bonus point for original material!

thats 4.5-3 Pmans leading.