Getting Weighed

[tonioseven]

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.

I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.

"I want to get weighed," she said.

Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.

By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"

Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."




Talking Parrot

This hous wife got tired of being alone everyday since her husband was at work and her 3 daughters were in school, so she decided to get a pet to keep her company. She walks into the local pet store and tells him that she wants a talking parrot. The clerk tells her that they do have 1 talking parrot, but that she wouldn't like him.
''Why not? '' She asks.

''Well, he has been around a bit and has picked up some colorful language, and you did say that you have a family,'' he replied.

''Well, my girls are old enough and they've heard it all. Just let me see him.''

The clerk finally agrees to show the lady the parrot and she insists on purchasing it right away. When she got home she covered the cage with a towel and went to get dinner ready for the family.

When she uncovered the cage, ''Brawkk!'' said the parrot, looking around. ''New place. New Madam. Morning Madam.''

''Uh, morning parrot,'' she said and then went to make breakfast. A few minutes later her daughters game down stairs, dressed and ready for school.

''Brawkk! New place. New Madam. New Girls. Morning Girls.''

''Morning Parrot,'' they replied and went to help their mother get breakfast ready. Soon the man of the house came down unshaven and in his bathrobe.

''Brawkk! New place. New Madam. New Girls. Same old customers. Morning Phil!''

[IntegraBoy2003]

LOL good ones

[ac427cpe]

lol! the first one was new to me, second is still funny

[Damien]

Never heard them!

[matada]

oh shit\

i just pooped myself. Those are the best yet tony. I am not sure where the new joke book came from, but these are definitely a new level of fun. Keep em coming!!
we welly wuv em.

[YogsVR4]

good stuff Tonio!