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Hmmm
possible diagnosis of FastandFuriousitis.
Chronic and potentially fatal. Usually diagnosed in juveniles, mostly males, occasionally young adults and females. Results primarily from a deperate desire to "fit in" and be "cool". Symptoms may be aggrevated by various bad street racing movies.
Many patients who suffer from FastandFuriousitis live with the condition for years, until suddenly it becomes terminal in an instant, often killing those in the immediate vicinity by inertia poisoning.
Symptoms include, but are nto limited to:
Tourrette's like verbal outbreaks (talking a lot of trash)
hallucinations- being unable to tell if they are in front of or behind another vehicle, or the inability to realize the other vehicle has shut down- hence the "I won, by fly-by" clause.
Odd growths on thier vehicles, usually in the posterior in the form of an oversized "wing" like protuberance. Occasional swellings and Edema may difigure the entire body of the vehicle causing it to no longer resemble it's own model.
Also the body panels of the vehicle may be discolored, the marks may seem to form large japanese kanji characters, this in spite of the fact the patient has no ability to read these. Most discolorations however seem form "GT-R" even though said vehicle is not in fact, a Nissan Skyline GT-R. Possible side effects may be the need to attach very large sheets of brightly colored, self adhesive vinyl to thier vehicles.
Yet another common condition is the need to graft portions of other makes and models onto the afflicted persons own ride, commonly used parts are headlights and tail lights- generally froma more expensive vehicle such as an S2000, Supra or Skyline.
It is important to note that some or none of these symptoms may manifest themselves. The afflicted may drive a "normal" looking vehicle, or even a modified truck.
Easily cured but like most addictive diseases, requires the patient to acknowledge it is an affliction.
Reccomended course of action:
Try the track once or twice.
The rush of having a cop line up next to you with his cherries on, then race you instead of chase you is good medicine. Our police dept here participates in the therapy occasionally in hopes of stemming the epidemic.
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