Yeah, it's like my friend who drives me nuts every time I ride with him. He shifts through the gears so freaking quickly that he's chugging at 12-1500 rpm's. in way too high a gear. So different situation, same result. You can hear his tranny groaning every time he steps on the gas at 20 mpg in 4th gear.
Drivers nowdays can't seem to handle things more complicated than a button, so the manufacturers just say "turn off the button" when towing. There are instructions right above the drivers head on how to engage 4wd in the Xterra, but it's still a mystery to millions of drivers out there. That's why the big SUV's now have a "4x4 button".