1) You shouldn't have to add spacers, but the measurement should also fall within spec.
2) Assuming the torque convertor was in use previously you should be fine. Get the fluid level up quick though as there is the risk of damage if it runs 'dry'.
3) Got me on this one. What does the owner's manual say? Did '96 have shallow and deep trans pans? Start witht the low amount; if it reads well above the hot mark on the dipstick with the engine off then do a cold fluid level check and adjust as necessary. When you're happy with the results do a hot level check and adjust as necessary. Bring trans fluid with you on the drive. You will probably have to check the level a few times as the torque convertor fills up.
4) That rubbing is normal, it is the torque convertor rubbing the back of the bellhousing. When it bolts up to the flywheel it will pull forward to the right spot (assuming the dimensions were good from #1)
Hope that helps a little, good luck