[Layla's Keeper]

You know, you've got some good ideas there. But I'd think that you might want to "homogenize" your chief rivals. Yes, rice-bad: real car-good. But the story shouldn't have that so blazenly apparent. If you make Rey into a poser right off the bat, then your readers will know the outcome of the race before they turn page one. If you even things up a bit, then you build some tension and suspense.

Some parts seem a bit TOO inspired by already existing racing mangas. MC getting royally pissed and driving wildly, Takumi vs Shingo in first stage. 800hp classic Z car that runs high speed Wangan style races, Wangan Midnight's "Akuma no Z" (Devil Z). You might want to better disguise this.

You've got basically good raw material, just needs fine tuning to remove faint traces of blatant inspiration. I'd also suggest trying to draw in even more variety in thee racing.


Also, I myself am a writer. Just say the word and I'll give the rundown on my own work in progress, an Initial D fanfic focusing on a touge team from Okayama. It has its own set of cool characters, interesting cars, and dramatic turns of events.