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I do hear what you saying DVS. I work as a manager in a multinational company and can relate to a lot of things you have said. And incidentally I'm finishing up with the company next week after three and a half years here.
I really do enjoy my job here and there is a significant part of me that would have liked to have stayed but I need a new challenge and the position I am starting soon will give me that.
In terms of the 'professional' approach to things - I like you have a tendency to be assertive about issues. And my boss knew he didn't hire a 'yes man' when I started, he wanted someone who would question the 'status quo' and in a culture of inertia that we had here initially - he wanted someone would take a blowtorch to some major issues we had here regarding the health of the business.
But something I have learnt is that not everyone wants change. In fact, there are a lot of people who fear change and its consequences - some with good reasons. And a lot of what people perceive about me was derived from things that were acutely aware of.
We talked a little while ago about the MBTI I'm an ENTP - I've used other development tools as well and I profile as highly competitive, achievement-oriented, strong ethical orientation plus I also have the double-edged sword of profiling in the 94-96 percentile for numerical, logical and verbal reasoning.
In other words, I am a very driven individual with a need for achievement and to effect change as a means of progress.
Based on work I've done including 360 degree feedback, reviews with my peers and staff and the management team - this mixture can be easily perceived as "intellectually arrogant," "win at all costs," "argumentative" etc.
Part of this perception is due to that double-edged sword of my inherent analytical skills and my decision making style - I'm very quick to make a decision and I can analyse data, facts and derive analysis and see causal relationships more quickly than the majority of the population. On the other hand, this can be negatively perceived as arrogance and patronising by some - 'he already knows the answer why ask me?'
I've also learnt in the longer term, that these preferences and perceptions 'right or wrong' have a really significant effect on the interpersonal relationships I have here. So much so that, in some cases, when there were some very significant personal issues outside of my work environment - my work was being affected and my work environment felt like a battlefield.
To his credit, my boss and the directors made the effort to help me out. We agreed to some development goals, some professional development including some personal one-on-one training and counselling as well as taking some wider responsibility within the company.
I can't say that it's perfect - it never will be, as I have said before we have preferences but I've learnt to moderate some of the behaviors that reinforced some of the negative perceptions of being hyper-competitive, employed some techniques such as taking a coaching/mentoring role (which I use a lot outside of work), learnt a lot about patience and managed a lot of the relationships better.
I've learnt that rather than tackle things head on - I do have other options (I can often get better results by influencing ie with a quiet word on the phone or in person with my boss and directors) which will get the same result. I've also learnt I don't have to win everything or be right all of the time - just when it matters to me and the people I'm standing up for.
I've also learnt as a manager that I have to lead too. There are a lot of things here I don't agree with, still don't. But I can't let this demoralise the people that look up to me as a leader. I've figured that if that company makes a decision, for whatever reason, it's my job and obligation to do the best I can which means I need to reinforce the positives of a policy and try to make the best of it for everybody. This is despite the fact that behind closed doors that I may have a serious disagreement and that others share the same feelings about issues.
I guess I've learnt a lot about myself and continue to do so everyday. There are lessons to be learnt and experience is a great teacher (although she can be very expensive).
Hope this is useful DVS and don't get down on yourself - it's folk like us that stop companies falling into holes from inertia, prevent the exploitation of our people and make changes that benefit everyone.
It's our role as agents of change and we should stand up for what is right (and we shouldn't forget that!)
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