LADIES CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT - YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN:-
1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your knickers up in the ladies room.
3. You suddenly decide you want to start a fight with "some bitch".
4. In your last trip to the bathroom you realise you now look more like Mrs Mangle from old Neighbours episodes than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
5. You drop your 3:00am chips on the floor of Top Kebab and pick them up & carry on eating. 6. You start crying.
7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
8. You've found a deeper side to nerdy Dave from the corner office.
9. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
10. You've forgotten where you live.
11. You start to sound like Tina Turner from the cigarettes you've smoked. Oh, and as you have mentioned 10 TIMES by now, you only smoke when you drink.
12. You yell at the barman, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.
13. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.
14. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."
15. You fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when you sit on it.
16. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
17. You no longer smell of Chanel No.5 and instead reek of a pot-pourri of farts, vomit, and Heineken.
18. You're out-burping the lads.
19. You just HAVE to tell your friends that you love them so much, just one more time.
20. You're at a table of strangers, flashing your tits, and you don't remember how you got there.
21. You're so tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!)
22. Your handbag is dancing around YOU!
