This...
IS...
your...car...right?
I may be off in left-field somewhere, but I understood that these cars come equipped with a feature that disables the fuel delivery system to the engine if the car thinks it has been broken in to. Can I get a confirmation on that? That sounds like what is happening. Does your clicker work (and do you even have one)? I've had a few cars that have the special keys that do that - if you try to start the car with a hardware store-made key and not a dealership key, the car will start and then immediately die.
The other option is to give up the car thief business, give the poor guy his car back, and spend a weekend at the boys and girls club!
Just kidding....