well, all I can say for getting the wife/gf to clean parts is to make sure you pick em right. my wife is awesome. even if there isn't anything for her to help me with she holds my drop light or just keeps me company while I am working.
I would guess that the AF on the pistons is correct as to why thy are clean, there are a couple that are quite a bit dirtier than the rest on the opposite sides of where the LIM gasked failed.