thank you very much for the reply trooperbc i appreciate it. here are some updates from today:
so i bought 3 new coils from autozone, swapped them in and nothing changed. luckily autozone let me return them.
i also changed the pcv valve and grommet as the old grommet was ripped, and nothing changed again.
you asked if the symptoms change when hot or cold and the answer is no they dont change. since you said that, i decided to pull the fuse for the o2 sensor and nothing changed again. not sure if that fuse controls all 4 o2 sensors but regardless nothing changed.
so since i live on a hill, i thought i'd try reversing up it a good amount to see if it will stutter/misfire and it did not. once i put it in drive (even going down hill) symptoms came right back.
also the valve cover gaskets are shot as there is oil on the wires. but the wires i have i think are the ones that seal to not allow oil (as trooperbc explained it). the wires on there now look like these
i also noticed that there is an occasional pop coming from the airbox (im almost positive its the airbox) while it is stuttering/misfiring.
as far as the egr valve, i took the one that is by the firewall which says egr on one side and vsv (could be wrong) on the other side. i just sprayed some carb cleaner into it and had some black stuff come out of it. not sure what you mean by transducer, this is the first time working on an isuzu so im not to sure on that term.
other than that, i had my brother put it in drive, hold the brake and give a little gas with the hood up so i can see if maybe there will be arcing that way but again i didnt see anything.
so atleast now we can narrow it down to not being
fuel filter
plugs
coils
pcv valve
i also spoke with my girlfriends father and he said when he bought the car it acted like this (but not as bad) brought it to a mechanic, he said he couldnt figure it out and gave it back to him and apparantly it drove fine for about 2 months until now.