The starter relay looks like a little can under the hood, mounted to the fender wall, on the firewall side of the fuse box.
Wiring diagrams are available at
http://www.advanceautowire.com
Click on stock schematics. Make yourself a couple of enlarged copies, one for reference and one to make notes on as you check the circuit.
Now get out your test light and/or multimeter.
You should get power to the white/red wire when the ignition switch is in the start position.
The brown wire should always have power.
If the relay is working, you should have power to the white/brown wire when the ignition switch is in the start position.
The black wire should go to a good ground.
Make sure all connections are clean and secure. Use dielectric grease on all connections.
Check and make sure all the connections are clean and secure at the starter.
If the relay checks out ok, then it might be the solenoid.