There are two things I hate in this world, racists and French people!
Ok im kidding but seriously, stupid fucking tourists.
Im here at work just chilling and my secretary says shes hungry, I am too but not enough to get lunch and be hungry some more for the rest of the day. So I tell her I'll go to the gas station on the corner and get us some Chocolate chip cookies and a couple of of Starbucks Frappuccinos to hold us of till later.
I walk out and I see three vans sorrounding my car. Now I always park far as hell so the customers have the closest parking and also less people park back there at the end of the lot so its safe from wide-swinging doors.
well no, these morons park all the way at the end of the lot when there are more then 40 spaces available right here!
As I get closser I see three people sitting on my car!
Two girls and a guy sitting on my hood! Guys tapping with his hand on it like beating a drum and singing some shit.
I fucking lost it man.
I ran up and grabbed the guy by the hair and yanked him off, some fuck tard sissy punches me in the back of the head, I lift up and heel kick him in the face but he grabbed my foot and blocked the kick (I think I sprained his finger though cause he just grabbed it with his other hand and didnt come close again.) faster then I could react three guys grab me and push me up against a tree and the one I threw off the car comes and punches me in the stomach......I just laughed cause he hit me three times and I didnt feel shit!
I head but the guy on my left and the guys on my right grab me by the collar and we all go down, Now Im pinned on the ground with two guys on top, I couldnt get up but I feel them kicking me in my ribs, finally some guy comes running up and pulls them off me! He spoke english....well he spoke something like english.
Thats when I realize they where French tourists! The soccer t-shirts and the gay rock girl music would of given them away had I payed attention to that...I didnt.
Hes like "What are you doing mr. crazy" or some shit.
I fucking yelled at him, "does that fucking faggot own this car? "
he says something to him in french, the kid yells back at him (thats when I noticed his nose is bleeding....Im not sure at what point that happened)
guy turns back to me "NO, No that is not his car you are mistaken"
me: no he is mistaken you fruitcake, if he dossent own this car then WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING SITTING ON IT?
guy: there is no harm to the car...
me: FUCK YOU! Fuck all of you fucking pussies,
the two girls had gotten off by now and where all stupified
me to the girls: What you bitch? I aint fucking you so whys your pussy up on my hood? (she had a low cut skirt so I know her shit was all up on my car.)
I turn back to him: This car is worth more then all of your lives put together asshole, you think Im gonna wait till there is harm done before I tell you to fuck off?
By this point there was a huge crowd around all of us, people from the other establishments and passerbys. One of the guys that works next to me said he had called the cops already and asked if I was ok.
I told him to hold them off while I check the hood and shit for scratches.
The frenchies started saying some shit and theyre all yelling at me and shit.
The translator saying he was gonna sue me.
Finally the cops show up, i tell them what happend, the cop looks at the tourists and says "how many attacked you?" I tell him three or four. He says "oh so it was self deffense?" the translator says I attacked them first.
cop says: no you violated his property and he did what any one of us would do.
well it went on for a bit and finally the escargo posse packed up and left.
wanna know the kicker? right before they left the cop says to them :alright folks thanks for visiting, VIVA ITALLIA!
I parked the car in the back now in case those pussies come back around and I checked it over, looks ok but there is one hairline scratch I cant seem to get rid off. I'll wash it tonight and see what happens.