First of all, Welcome to the Forums. We don't discriminate against the fairer sex here, so the semi "car dumb" woman comment will be stricken from the record
. The ABS light and ticking sound are classic front hub bearing symptoms. The ABS wheel speed sensor is part of the hub bearing, so when the hubs start to go bad, they will trip the ABS and usually the Trac-off lights. The check engine light will require you to have the car scanned, as all OBDII computers need a scan tool to retrieve the codes. If you have an Advance Auto or Auto-Zone in your area, they will scan it for free for you. Have them make a print-out and post the results here. Their scan tools are not ABS capable though, so to narrow down which hub is bad, you'll have to take the car to a garage with an ABS capable scanner( although the ticking coming from the passenger side kinda points the finger at that hub). The right hand wiper arm is GM part #10300573, and dealer retail is only $28.