Good topic, obviously started by none other than Dantes.
Without going into great detail, I'm going to say my .02 on this.
Touching a little with what
Gonthrax said, both parties are responsible. However, there are situations or circumstances that present themselves which clearly make this a very debateable topic.
On one hand I am inclined to say that if you're grown up enough to sleep with a person, you're grown up enough to accept the possible repercussions of your actions. I firmly believe that when someone consents to having sex, they already know and are aware of the fact that the possibility of getting her pregnant or contracting a disease is always there. Speaking as a guy, and speaking as one who has been in situations where I found myself with making or participating in a decision that involves a pregnancy, I have to say that guys ultimately have to make a clear choice before engaging in sex. Bottom line is, if you're just looking to have fun and keep it moving, think also that she is looking for the same thing and not trying to be tied down with a child.
Although I don't put my personal business out there, I feel that I will justify my case by citing examples that I've gone through. I've had eight instances with 8 different females that had contacted me afterwards with a phone call to notify me that they were pregnant. Now I am one to readily admit that at those times, I was not ready financially, mentally or physically to be a father. This is something that I had pointed out to the involved parties. Of the 8, only 3 gave me a hard time about getting an abortion. Yes, I am guilty of getting into these girls heads and convincing them that this was the right thing to do. I pointed out the facts that were going to be involved with a child in the middle of all this and they all eventually saw my viewpoint and went through with it. Not something that I am particularly proud of or care to brag about. I've been around the block and back. These pregnancies of course were not planned, so to say that I was shocked to find out would be an understatement.
I think that in the end, the female as well as the male have to come to some sort of agreement. Bringing up a child in this day and age is not the same as it was "back in tha day".
Females though, sometimes put men in certain situations which may lead men to question the truthfulness of their actions. I've personally seen one such female convince a friend or associate I should say of mine, that she was pregnant with his child. Now I don't need to tell you how nervous he got since he was only a teen, about 16 or 17 at the time. All he kept thinking about was how his family was going to look down upon him and how would he ever be able to maintain this child. I personally never met this girl, but after meeting her when she was just a few months away from giving birth, I just had a feeling in me that told me she was lying. For 8 months, this associate was going crazy borderline insanity on what the hell he was going to do. Going only with my gut feeling I told him to get a test done to see if it was really his kid. Of course he took offense to it right from the start because he thought I was trying to say that she was messing around on him. I told him flat out, what do you have to lose. If you don't want to speak to me ever again, I didn't care, I would keep it moving. But If I was right, all this anxiety that you're going through will be for nothing. It took him about a week or so before he approached the girl and told her about taking the test because he wanted to be sure. He tried getting in touch with me but at that time I had already finished school and had left that area never to return. I found out through a mutual friend that the test came back negative. It wasn't his child. Needless to say, I'm sure he must have been relieved to know that.
My whole thing with pointing this out is, if you're going to have sex, be smart about it. In the unlikely event that she should come out pregnant, I say that both of you have to look at your situations financially, physically, mentally and even spiritually, and ask yourselves "Will I be able to bring up this child in a good environment?"
A good environment is not only having a roof over your head either. It takes a father and a mother to raise a child. Anyone can be a mommy or daddy. But to bring up a child in this society knowing all the evils and challenges that my lay ahead of him/her is something that you both should consider before doing anything.
So my answer will be that both parties involved should come to a clear agreement. That means if the male partner is clearly saying he is not able to, you should really consider not bringing a child to this world. Likewise for the females, if you aren't ready and clearly this is not the person you plan on having kids with, take the necessary precautions. I really find it pathetic when either one says, "but it doesn't feel the same" as a viable excuse to have unprotected sex.
Wow, that was more than I planned to speak. :sun: