[animal66]

>>>>18 Ways To Annoy People

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."




4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

5. Reply to everything someone says with, "that's what YOU think."

6. Practice making fax and modem noises.

7. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

8. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

9. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

10. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

11. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never Mind, it's gone now."

12. As much as possible: skip rather than walk.

13. Ask people what gender they are.

14. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

15. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

16. Go to a poetry recital. Ask repeatedly why each poem doesn't rhyme.

17. Sing along at the opera.




>>>>Actual Errors in Newspapers


"I's very happy," said Olga, a medical student in perfect English.


The house was trimmed in pink, white and blue with babies hanging from the ceiling and nursing bottles galore.

The 53-year-old candidate for the Congress, now of Little Rock, was born on a farm in Kansas City 68 years ago.


Headline: SUSPECT TAKEN IN MIAMI JEWEL CASE

We are not responsible for errors in the Calfficied Ads.


To Mr. and Mrs. Ben M. , a son, 7 lbs. 12 oz. more to come more more mor.

We have received a new shipment of Arrow shirts for men with 16 necks.

We are happy to announce the engagement of Gene Kelly to Prince Rainier. He will now become a princess.

Smokers, the next time you light up, try Chesterfields if you really want a good choke.

Ann Landers will be glad to help you with your parents. Send them to her in care of this newspaper.

The fatal accident occurred at 125th Street as the dead man was crossing the intersection.

Charles H. Horn goes to Georgia Tech to study unclear physics.

LBJ COLD ALMOST OVER, FUNERAL TRIP STILL UNCERTAIN

The Tuesday matinee at the Arcadia Theater will be on Saturday this weekend instead of Thursday.

Four plays later he ran around his right end for three years into the end zone.

STEP TAKEN ON SEWAGE

The sheriff said there are currently five openings at the county jail.

Mrs. Downs attended the flower show with her twin daughters, Mary, age 6, and Helen, age 4.

MAN WHOSE HEART STOPPED BEATING TO TAKE IT EASY

Mrs. Nelson was presented with a gift from the chapter in appreciation of work well done by Mrs. Ethel Anderson.

Clark Gable was injured in an automobile accident. The extent of his injuries are not known; however, the area in which Mr. Gable was injured is spectacular and scenic.

ESCAPED LEOPARD BELIEVED SPOTTED

CEMETERY GETS PRAISE FROM FORMER RESIDENT

"The carnage on our highways can be reduced, but only if you give us the fools to perform the job corrects," said Gov. Hatfield.

NIXON GETS STONED ON TRIP

About one third of all passengers flying between London and Paris travel by air.

In Chicago five men were accused on bride-taking.

Mr. and Mrs. Conway have returned from a week's fighting trip to Wisconsin.

In the ensuing struggle, the hijacker's pistol discharged, wounding the stewardess in the tail section.

The new mayor is an insurance agent and broke.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Great Dames for sale.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Include your Children when Baking Cookies

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant