[drdisque]

wow, no offense, but thats like the most pointless story I ever read. Why are things going to change? he won a race, what does that have to do with his life? Nothing happens in this story except for a really confusing race where nothing really happens with no tension or reason to care about it. C'mon make somebody crash or die or get dumped or have SOMETHING that someone might give a shit about. Also the artsy fartsy stuff at the beginning and end have nothing to do with the story, don't include it. also you tell us why he isn't in this parking lot, but you never tell us why he IS in this parking lot. Also, your fraternity stereotypes are lousy and you use too much bad slang like "retromobile" (which isn't even a word) and "tranced out".

My suggestion is to either trash this story and write about something real-life and with some real human interest or to make something real happen in the end, like he gets arrested or crashes or something other than hi-fives his girlfriend and everything's OK.