the plot thickens...
okay, i've tested all the fuses and relay boxes with a light test. everything lit up. i figured it MUST be this headlight switch, especially after reading on the internet about how common a problem they can be for 96 luminas. i take the cheap route and grab one from the junkyard for $48 bucks. Put it in, the tails and console are still out. So I'm guessing it's gotta be something other than the switch?
i bring the car to a mechanic friend of mine who pulled the (junkyard) switch out and tested all the connections on the plug (where the switch attaches) he uses his pointy wire thing to "jump" the switch and when he does this, he gets the taillights and console lights to come on! So they are getting power and all. now the mechanic is CERTAIN I got a 'bad' switch from the junkyard. I take it back and they give me another. no cash refunds
The next switch (#3!) still doesn't work. I call the mechanic friend back and tell him this. he is STILL CERTAIN its gotta be the switch, especially after bypassing it successfully. i bite the bullet and go to a dealer for a NEW switch (#4 for $122!!!) pop it in... still no lights! I immediately return the NEW switch.
Now what? Any ideas on WHAT ELSE could possibly be the problem?