Well, pulling out all the stops (since nobody knows who I am, what's harm?), here's a little story involving me drinking too much this past May.
I'm down in the Cancun area of Mexico. I am down there for my brother's wedding, and I am the best man. We're at one of those all-inclusive resorts, you know, where everything is free, so you can sit around getting plastered all day and not have to pay a red cent to do it. So I am at the beach, I'm having a few drinks, and I just went a little over that edge. I'm sitting there with my cousin, her husband (who is a buddy of mine), my God brother, and I realize that I have just gone over that edge, and I'm drunk. So my cousin takes me to her room before dinner (shortly after my "realization"), and gives me some Visine to get rid of the red in my eyes. And she tried so hard to help me, but it was just too late.
So I see my God father at dinner, and I'm talking to him, and I'm trying to play it straight, but I blow it, and I say to him "you know.. I'm just so drunk." And he didn't know it until I said anything. Well, it was all downhill from there.
Of course, the entire wedding party goes to the bar after dinner. The difference is that for them they went to have a couple drinks and try to perhaps get a good buzz going on. But me, already buzzing my ass off, goes for "the prolonged buzz." So I throw back a few more, and the stupidity really flies. I start talking about how I'd like a larger... (let's call it a ding dong), and next thing I know, I'm walking around in front of my brothers in-laws to be with a cantaloupe in my pants. Embarassing as this must have been, I was too looped to care.
So then a few minuts later, I'm hanging out with a friend that I have known since the day she was born. We're both loopy, and as she tries to hug me, I lean forward and kiss her right between her breasts in her low-cut shirt. Now, understand that this girl is like a sister to me, and that I really would not touch her (sexually) with a ten-foot pole. My brother comes over to me, and asks me if I know what I just did. I said "no, what?" He tells me, and I say "I did?"
Well, so now I'm getting the maid of honor, who kind of likes me, a little jealous. So, she grabs me by the hand and says "we've gotta talk." So she takes me to the beach. And all of a sudden she taking off her clothes like they're on fire. And me being the drunk fool that I am I follow suit and run after her into the ocean. So we're in the ocean, swimming and playing around just having fun. Then, we get out and start misbehaving (heh heh heh) on a chase lounge on the beach. Now the beauty of this is that many times sober, I have pushed her away, as her sister and my brother are to be married (and were the day after the evening being described here), but this time my defenses are just shot. And the happy-couple-to-be just happen to come strolling along to see these two "strange people" getting it on right on the beach. And my sister-in-law even thought she saw one guy and TWO girls (yeah, I wish).
Well, that's about the best of it. It was an awesome night, and some of my best work. And one of the really great things about it is that I wasn't even hung over the next day for the wedding. I did my best man's speech well and everything! Right on!
Anyway, other good stories, please feel free to share
