[D[X]P]

Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says "god it's hot in here, and the other sausage says "OH MY GOD IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
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Why did the bee cross his legs? Because he couldn't find the BP station.
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Why don't blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs!
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What is the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it hits a windshield? His 'butt!'
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.
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What Happened to the fly on the toilet seat? He got pissed off!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.
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How does it change many dyslexics to take a light bulb?
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What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park your car in it man.
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If the opposite of PRO is CON, then is the opposite of progress CONgress?
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Why did the booger cross the road? Because he was being picked on!!!!!
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Where do kings keep their armies? In their sleevies.
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What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? Anyone can mash potatoes!
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What did one frog say to the other? 'Time's sure fun when you're having flies!'
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A woman asked her husband to go to the video store and get A Scent of a Woman, he came back with A Fish Called Wanda.