[tsears]

First off, I've been lurking here for a few weeks now, but finally signed up last night. So hello to all.

Now, allow me to embark on my tale of woe. Follow the story of a car ninja through his peaks and his ultimate lows.

late in the Year 2000, our hero acquires his first decent car... a Green 94 Acura Integra LS. This car is far too sporty for an 18 year old with no experience in a real car, but it was given to me as a gift. For a time things were good. Our hero slowly picks up some skill, leaving all the cars internals in tact.

Fast forward one year. Our hero now is rallying the hell out of his little acura. E-brake 180's, reverse 180's, 270's, powerslides, these are mastered. Our hero can pull them all with ease, as if it was as natural as walking. Shortly after these skills are mastered, our hero discovers a new drug -- pure speed. He drags this little country road countless times, 105, 110, 120 ... finds a big hill on a free way and hits 130. For a time, this was good.

Another year passes, our hero approaches his 21st birthday. Our hero has a couple beers then heads out for a night of pool-playing at the local hall. However, a lady is present as he gets in to his car. Wanting to impress the young lady, he revs up for a manuver.

The tires let out a brief chirp and the car rises to around 30 mph in about 6 car lengths, our hero misjudges the distance he has, and pulls his ebrake.

The world starts spinning, as expected, then --

SMACK!!

Our hero, shaken, composes himself for a moment then begins to drive forward. The car fishtails wildly for no apparent reason. Our hero, angered by this, stops and gets out to have a look.

His passenger-side wheel is making a 45 degree angle with the ground. Moments later the car is jacked up and the wheel is off. The brake rotor is also at this un-natural angle.

Our hero, minutes away from home, decides to brave the short drive and avoid incurring the fees of a tow truck driver.

Our hero makes it about 1/4 mile then POP! The car stop fishtailing.

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ok, that writing style is getting stale. Long story short, I snapped the lower control arm, bent the rear trailing arm, and bent the rear crossmember.

but there is more! my wildly fishtailing, smoking car (the tire was rubbing the muffler) attracted the attention of 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 police officers!

I tell them my story and they don't ticket me with anything -- in fact, the "lead" officer said "Well, you like you're gonna have enough to pay for".

One month and $1300 later, the car is back on the road with me at the wheel.

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Interrupt - you may be wondering what this is doing in the 4thGen forum -- it's coming

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4 days later im cruising out to the other side of town. Im taking it a little fast, about 7-9 mph over the speed limit, because if i'm not going 7-9 over, im probably parked.

Picture an inside corner, with a hill, banked the wrong way, and it's wet. I do not one, but two COMPLETE 360s, my front end tags a little tree (about 3" diameter). the back end swings around and tags a curb. Finally , the car comes to a complete stop. Then, as if my life were a giant cartoon, 1 second -- seriously -- 1 second -- after i've stopped the airbag deploys.

I get out and walk around

picutre a 94 integra ls... now crack the front bumper in half. now take the license plate and lodge it in the crossmember behind the bumper. Now picture a bent hood. Now picture a wheel at a 45 degree angle with the ground. That's right, i did the same thing I had done last time to the other wheel/frame/control arm/trailing arm..

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now, this is why I drive a 91 Civic DX HB with a stock motor.

it's been about 3 months since my accidents now. Im slowly getting my confidence back, im no longer afraid to gun it, no longer afraid to max out my motor (and let me tell you, this thing won't do 130 =).

now this is the part where the story is supposed to get happy and I say i took the B18b1 out of my ls and put it in my civic. However, my parents wouldn't let me keep the car or the motor around and i couldn't afford to store it. I sold the car (well, what was left of it), back to the frame shop that fixed it the first time (but I did yak my integra leather seats and put them in the civic, bastards).

so what does the future hold for this now-dormant car ninja?

b18b1 turboed in that little civic, that's what... from there who knows...

that has to have been the longest "getting to know the new guy" post ever!