A couple corny jokes
YogsVR4
04-17-2003, 11:08 AM
Bound to be some repeaters in here.....
A man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says "thank you for not disturbing my buttercups. For that I shall make sure that you always have a full supply of butter".
"Thank you," the golfer replied, "but where were you last week when I hit the ball into the pussywillows?"
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Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get's her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: "This is too good to pass up," gets off his horse, unzips his pants and starts fucking the shit out of this heifer for at least ten minutes. When he finally finished he looked up to his partner and asked him if he wants some of it. His partner replied "hell yes that looks pretty good", climbs down off his horse drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence.
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A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switch
when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, "Do you have any last
requests?" The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic)
could you please do something to scare me?"
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On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him sitting up in the bed, frantically leafing through the bible "What are you doing?" asked the friend. "Looking for loopholes," repied the lawyer.
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Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one
question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the
iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the
Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that
this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people
died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered,
"about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
A man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says "thank you for not disturbing my buttercups. For that I shall make sure that you always have a full supply of butter".
"Thank you," the golfer replied, "but where were you last week when I hit the ball into the pussywillows?"
------------------------------------------
Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get's her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: "This is too good to pass up," gets off his horse, unzips his pants and starts fucking the shit out of this heifer for at least ten minutes. When he finally finished he looked up to his partner and asked him if he wants some of it. His partner replied "hell yes that looks pretty good", climbs down off his horse drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence.
------------------------------------------
A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switch
when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, "Do you have any last
requests?" The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic)
could you please do something to scare me?"
------------------------------------------
On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him sitting up in the bed, frantically leafing through the bible "What are you doing?" asked the friend. "Looking for loopholes," repied the lawyer.
------------------------------------------
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one
question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the
iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the
Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that
this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people
died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered,
"about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
SilverLotus340R
04-17-2003, 12:26 PM
are u against lawyers?? lmao
the first one was pretty good
the first one was pretty good
SiRI
04-17-2003, 02:43 PM
Originally posted by YogsVR4
Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get's her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: "This is too good to pass up," gets off his horse, unzips his pants and starts fucking the shit out of this heifer for at least ten minutes. When he finally finished he looked up to his partner and asked him if he wants some of it. His partner replied "hell yes that looks pretty good", climbs down off his horse drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence.
:huh: :huh: :eek: :bloated:
Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get's her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: "This is too good to pass up," gets off his horse, unzips his pants and starts fucking the shit out of this heifer for at least ten minutes. When he finally finished he looked up to his partner and asked him if he wants some of it. His partner replied "hell yes that looks pretty good", climbs down off his horse drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence.
:huh: :huh: :eek: :bloated:
Sean
04-17-2003, 04:26 PM
ROFLMAO at the first two
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