Time spent...

Am I so wrong for thinking that someone who loves me (romantically) and who only sees me once every 6 months should spend a LITTLE bit of time with me alone when he is around???

Peter (the guy who is NOT in my good book at the moment) came up from Virginia with one of his frat brothers(excuse me, FRATERNITY... they are sooooooo different :rolleyes: gah) Anyway, Peter hitched a ride with his frat bro Josh on Friday. He arrived at about 10pm, we watched Office Space, and then crashed. I couldn't sleep in the tiny sub-twin-sized bed with him, so I got up in the middle of the night and slept in my roommate's bed (who was gone, like every weekend).

We woke up at 9am Saturday morning, and spent from 1:30pm until about 7:30pm with Josh and his family. I then wanted to check out a car meet in this one area, and the boys decided they didn't want to, so they went to Dave & Busters (a bar with video games up the wazoo) while I was doing the car thing. I know not everyone wants to stand in literally freezing weather and look at cars. So an hour and a half later, I go and pick them up, and they want to go bar-hopping in Pittsburgh (proper). I reminded them that I am under 21 and I don't stand a chance of getting into a bar past 9pm, let alone any time b/c of my age and lack of... alternative ID. Josh wanted to meet up with one of his friends, so he called her up, and found out what bar they were at. The boys then say that I can just go b/c they'll catch a bus home, to which I remind them that they'd have to be back at Josh's place by just after midnight b/c the bus service ends... Then they got the bright idea to just crash at this girl's house. So tangie gets left in the dust. What fun. Over an hour's drive home ALONE in the dark at about midnight. EXACTLY what I wanted to do when someone who once meant the WORLD to me comes to visit me for the first time in 6 months. :mad:

I know I am probably over-reacting, and I KNOW guys need their time alone, but CRAP, they're in the same friggin FRAT!!! They spend every F*ing day doing something for the f*ing frat!!!! And Peter can't spare an hour or so of bar-hopping in Pittsburgh to spend with me??? Last time I saw him was Thanksgiving, and it wasn't exactly a dream-visit. I guess I was just hoping that I might mean something more than an hour in the South Side of Pittsburgh with a frat brother. Guess I know my place now. :(

It sucks. Thank God my friend was really near by to let me vent and cry a little bit last night. I almost fell asleep behind the wheel on the way home several times. Then I get home around 2pm (EST) only to have horrid nightmares. He then calls me at about 12:30pm (EDT) to say he's coming to pick up his bag of stuff he left in my car. I wish I hadn't had to deal with him. :(

I'm so frustrated. I gave up my chance with someone else for THIS??? Granted, the someone else who had a chance is also technically out of reach due to me having dated his roommate, and that's a WHOLE OTHER sordid situation. :( Can't I get a break???

If you've actually read the whole way through this, I'm sorry. I just needed something that wouldn't offer me advice mid-story and I could just vent it all out at once.

:( I'm really sorry that you had to be put through all of that. And ya know what? You're not overreacting one bit. If he hasn't seen you in that long, you should be his #1 priority hands down, no questions asked for that little time that you guys get to spend together. Like you said, he and his buddy are in the same frat and they spend every day together, he had no excuse to do what he did. He should have been with you every moment, and at your every beck and call. I know what its like to be put on the back burner to friends and stuff.....and with me being kinda the jealous type if someone I was with said they were staying at some girls house I'd flip....but honestly, you deserve sooo much more than that. Any guy that would treat their girl that way is a dumbass, and doesn't deserve to be with anyone. I know its hard, but maybe it would be a good idea to take a break. I have some friends in frats, and not many of them are exactly the 'commitment types', unfortanutely. :( College guys especially are so hard to get through to, and there's only a small minority of ones that are mature enough to handle a real relationship.
Personally, I really think that this is way too unhealthy and you need to get out of it...the sooner the better because he's just going to keep hurting you more and more. You deserve someone that will give you attention all the time and want to spend time with you and do things with you, and be listening and understanding of you. Someone that won't leave you because you're too young and they want to be selfish and go to a bar (I've had that happen to me too :rolleyes: ), but someone that would spend every moment they could with you, and compromise on where to go and what to do. It always hurts so bad to get out of even the worst relationships, but if you step back and look at the big picture, its better in the long run.
I don't know him any more than what you've said, but from what I gather, he doesn't seem like 'serious' quality, and I'd try to get out of that and not waste any more time on a dead end relationship. Get more time for someone that will treat you how you deserve to be treated, and you will be much, much happier :)

Thanks. We have talked since, and I am a lot more calm then when he was up here, but we've been officially "apart" for over a year now, and I think it's going to stay that way. I'll always care for him, but I have already made my decision to enjoy someone else's company.

Tony has fought tooth and claw to get me... from him dating someone else when he first wanted to date me, to me dating his roommate (yeah, dumb :o) to letting me talk about my feelings and ideas and still wanting me. We've both been able to listen to the lesser side of one another and still care when it's all said and done. He helped me through this, and only 2 weeks ago I helped him through a nasty break-up with someone I never would have expected... It's good times thus far, and he doesn't mind that I can't get into bars yet. We find other things to do. It may sometimes feel like things move slightly faster, but we've also been good friends since October, so it's not like starting from scratch.

Wow, I feel really good today.