If Microsoft Made Skiis and Boards.....
Oz
03-27-2003, 03:54 PM
(this was ripped from the Arcvhive section of forum.ski.com.au and originally spanned multiple posts)
You would have to use Microsoft boots and ski on Microsoft snow.
Every now and then a ski or a boot or a pole would break for absolutely no reason and you'd have to replace it.
Microsoft ski bindings would lock you in so tight that you can never release, except when you least expect it. They would come with a 20000 page disclaimer.
everyone would still pirate them!
You'd need a Microsoft-compatible bum to interface with MS Chairlift 2000.
Every so often you'd stack, then be unable to get back up due to your system failing. Re-booting (ok, that was pretty lame) would be to no avail, and the warranty on your gear would be void.
MAC would have it's own patch of white stuff on the same slope, but their skiers would be unable to ski Microsoft's runs. However, they would be missing an essential piece of equipment needed to participate, so it wouldn't matter.
The equipment would be 30000 times the size you needed it to be and you would only ever get around to learning how to use 5% of its capability.
..or you'd attempt a 360 with a grab, get a floating point error resulting in an illegal operation while still mid flight. Microsoft would just leave you hanging but in real life you are completely stuffed.
The 2000 season skis and boards would be released for the 2001 season.
The Microsoft chairlift would have a capacity of 500 skiers but would start to slow if it had more than 300 skiers on it and grind to a halt at 450. When questioned Microsoft would claim that it was your fault for using it on a non Microsoft approved hill.
They would come with special attachments that would allow you to put your skis and boards on your car without roof racks. Of course you would have to drive a Microsoft car, which only runs on Microsoft roads.
The MS Snowboards are pretty expensive. You could always try the free share"wear" version. But you have to watch out that they don't stop existing half way down a slope, when the free trial period ends.
You would have to use Microsoft boots and ski on Microsoft snow.
Every now and then a ski or a boot or a pole would break for absolutely no reason and you'd have to replace it.
Microsoft ski bindings would lock you in so tight that you can never release, except when you least expect it. They would come with a 20000 page disclaimer.
everyone would still pirate them!
You'd need a Microsoft-compatible bum to interface with MS Chairlift 2000.
Every so often you'd stack, then be unable to get back up due to your system failing. Re-booting (ok, that was pretty lame) would be to no avail, and the warranty on your gear would be void.
MAC would have it's own patch of white stuff on the same slope, but their skiers would be unable to ski Microsoft's runs. However, they would be missing an essential piece of equipment needed to participate, so it wouldn't matter.
The equipment would be 30000 times the size you needed it to be and you would only ever get around to learning how to use 5% of its capability.
..or you'd attempt a 360 with a grab, get a floating point error resulting in an illegal operation while still mid flight. Microsoft would just leave you hanging but in real life you are completely stuffed.
The 2000 season skis and boards would be released for the 2001 season.
The Microsoft chairlift would have a capacity of 500 skiers but would start to slow if it had more than 300 skiers on it and grind to a halt at 450. When questioned Microsoft would claim that it was your fault for using it on a non Microsoft approved hill.
They would come with special attachments that would allow you to put your skis and boards on your car without roof racks. Of course you would have to drive a Microsoft car, which only runs on Microsoft roads.
The MS Snowboards are pretty expensive. You could always try the free share"wear" version. But you have to watch out that they don't stop existing half way down a slope, when the free trial period ends.
replicant_008
03-27-2003, 04:16 PM
I think secretly Microsoft does make skis/boards...
- They get upgraded every year but it's mostly cosmetic
- You pay a massive premium for race models which are a bit like getting Windows Professional - they are better but NOT THAT MUCH better
- You have to buy something else ie a binding to get them to work
- Some of the skis only work with one binding
- They are obsolete very quickly
- They need constant maintenance to work properly
- The interface ie the binding can only be serviced by authorised technicians
- They get upgraded every year but it's mostly cosmetic
- You pay a massive premium for race models which are a bit like getting Windows Professional - they are better but NOT THAT MUCH better
- You have to buy something else ie a binding to get them to work
- Some of the skis only work with one binding
- They are obsolete very quickly
- They need constant maintenance to work properly
- The interface ie the binding can only be serviced by authorised technicians
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