need help with links

I have a apparently ultra-rare 4th generation honda civic wagon, I can't find any performance parts for it aside from the usual engine swap info, and 4dr bodykits. Any help would be appreciated, I figured I would work with what I have and I got this car for free. I thought if I did some body work it would look 1/2 way decent and the extra weight on the rear would help with cornering at high speeds. I can't seem to find a rear wing for it or not much of anything. That's probably because the only people I see driving it are either old ladies or hippies, so I guess that increases the funny side to this car if I were to make it a racer.
Anyway, anyone who can help me with links (good jokes about my car as well) would be appreciated.

I'm dead serious about making my car a cruiser.