Risque cocktail names trouble Christian barmaid

http://www.chaser.com.au/show_story.asp?ID=650&ED=70&CAT=1&NAME=Christian

A local barmaid has called for a host of cocktails, including such as Hard Ons, Sex on the Beach and Orgasms, to be renamed in order to accommodate her wholesome Christian beliefs.

"As a Christian I’ve promised God I’ll save myself for the man I marry, so being asked for a Quick Fuck every night causes me extreme discomfort," admitted Emily Williams, 24, in the middle of her shift at a Melbourne bar. "Especially when I have to say 'yes' every time."

Williams usually deals with embarrassing orders by ducking under the counter to perform a series of rapid fire Hail Marys. "I was prepared to overlook the vending machine in the toilet that distributes contraceptive devices," she says, "but this is a bit much. I'm devoted to the word of the Lord, and I'm pretty sure that word doesn't include 69ers and Cocksucking Cowboys."

Bar Manager Hamish Greig says he sympathises with Williams's dilemma, but he is not willing to accommodate the alternative cocktail names she favours. "I can't really see 'Marital Love on the Beach' driving up sales," he says. "And no matter how good it tastes I’d never order a Christ-loving Cowboy."

But while Williams confesses she is "always on the lookout for a career that’s slightly less likely to send her to hell", she admits her current job is preferable to her previous place of work, Big Phil's Adult Bookshop.

"Dear Lord," she says, rolling her eyes, "If I'd had to explain to one more person how a Four Pronged Anal Probe works, I think I would have died."

Her choice of venues does leave her in a bit of a bind :D

If she was that committed,she'd find a job with a higher threshold of ethics.But by the same token,Ithink that giving a drink a lewd name just for the novelty value is pretty lame.

poor gal.


I'm seeing a career change in her near future

Just because someone is 'Christian' does that have to equate to 'Prude?' - wholesome doesn't have to mean that someone blushes at the odd colourful use of the idiom. Reminds me of the virginal high school girls who'd giggle behind the hands in embarrassment when discussing the rather clumsy act of losing your virginity.

I like to think I have wholesome values - I believe in loyalty, friendship, family, integrity, the rights of children and have what I regard as certain standards of morals and ethics.

On the other hand, I don't have a problem at all with enjoying the pleasures of the female form and yeah baby, I'd do it until the sun rose with the right person/people at the right moment.


For the record...

A Quick Fuck: Is a shooter of Midori and Baileys
A Slippery Nipple: Is a shooter of White Sambuca and Baileys