post your favorite biker joke!

Ok, being one of the few Harley guys on here, I'm opening up a can of worms but what the hell. Lets hear your favorite biker/ricer/Harley joke and have a little fun. I'll start!

A biker pulls up in front of an elementary school.

Biker: "Psst, hey kid, wanna take a ride on my new bike?"
Kid: "No thanks mister, I'll walk home" He starts walking down the sidewalk
Biker: After following the kid for a few yards "Come on kid, it'll be fun!"
Kid: "No thank you sir, now I gotta get home." The kid starts walking faster.
Biker: "Come on boy, I'll give you $10 if you take a ride with me!"
Kid: after becoming frustrated, he throws down his book bag and pointing his finger at the biker says "Listen Dad, you bought the fucking Ricer, you ride the piece of shit home, now go away before someone recognizes you!"

:rofl: :cwm27: :biggrin:

A blind guy walks into a biker bar without knowing what kind of bar it is.

He orders a beer and says to the barman "do you wanna hear a good Harley Davidson joke?"

The barman replies "Look buddy, your blind so i'll give you a hint. I ride a Fatboy, The two bouncers ride Harleys and so do the table of Hells Angels boys behind. Do you still want to tell that joke?"


the blind man replies "ummm no fucken way. I couldn't be arsed trying to explain it that many times!"

:runaround: :loser:

what do you call a half helmet worn by a young Southern Australian Sport Bike rider ?

A Syd Squid Kid Skid Lid

what's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley?

With the Harley the dirt bag goes on the outside.

what do you call a half helmet worn by a young Southern Australian Sport Bike rider ?

A Syd Squid Kid Skid Lid


Is "Syd" supposed to be a reference to Sydney in New South Wales as opposed to South Australia.

Jeez we only have 6 states and two territories not like your, what 51 states including Canadia! :screwy: :runaround:


Definition of a Harley Davidson: the most un-economical way to produce maximum noise with minimum horsepower!

You know i luv ya rich!

oh, now you're gonna get technical on me huh? Is Sydney not in Australia, or is New South Whales a different country/on a different continent?:p

My favorite anti-Harley joke/comment was posted before by I believe Jeffcoslacker and it is similar to yours above

Harley V-Twin: The most efficient way to convert gasoline to noise without the adverse effect of horsepower! See, we Harley guys can laugh at ourselves. :lol2:

...not really jokes, but funny....
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/busa.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/Caution.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/chrome.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/confident.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/duc.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/safety.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/training.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/profile.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/pipes.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/photo.jpg
....
And...Yeah.:tongue:
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/yamaha.jpg

Awesome post Chevelle, especially the girl with her helmet backward and the dude on the playgound Panda, funny stuff!!!

I have footage of me in full leathers on my minibike somewhere. I'll post that when i can.

I also have a photo of me on a kids toy bike in a shopping centre.

In my move and breakup, i've misplaced alot of stuff.

That will be great to see, so post it when you find it. Hope everything is better in your corner of the world Blayne. Our riding season is winding down here, but spring is coming your way on the upside down part of the world! Any chance you'll have a bike this year buddy?

I have footage of me in full leathers on my minibike somewhere. I'll post that when i can.

I also have a photo of me on a kids toy bike in a shopping centre.
:uhoh:
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/determination.jpg
???????

:lol:
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk222/GForce80/funny/boner.jpg

I'm sure if I can get my hands on a helmet to go riding down here in the Dirty South (aka Nashville, TN) that I'll find some good biker jokes... hell, for the next 3 weeks I'm living with a Harley owner! :eek2:

That is freakin' awesome Aussie. I loved the wheelie attempts, funny stuff!

That is freakin' awesome Aussie. I loved the wheelie attempts, funny stuff!


I thinks its funny how when i turn around at the bottom of the hill, Kelly (with the camera) thought i'd be just as quick up the hill as i was down hill. so you hear the motor flat out but .......waiting.........waiting.......waiting...... . oh yeah there i am

and on my next few laps i tried to pull a wheelie and came off the back, scuffed my leathers and broke my ass bone. it was sore for a month! broke the tail off the bike too. Kelly and my mate Danno were in stiches and couldn't get off the ground, they were laughing sooo hard. I was walking like i'd been raped by a giraffe and bruised just as bad!

ass bone
That's.... ahem.... the coccyx (pronounced kok-siks), which is probably a joke all on it's own. :sly:

Raped by a giraffe!!!! Now that's a mental image I didn't need, thanks Blayne!

:lol2:

That's.... ahem.... the coccyx (pronounced kok-siks), which is probably a joke all on it's own. :sly:


I couldn't type that without giggling!

Raped by a giraffe!!!! Now that's a mental image I didn't need, thanks Blayne!



It is certainly a mental image you need to ponder! Everyone knows what its like to be raped by an elephant! but the stats on reported rapes perpetrated by horny giraffes are very low by comparison.

Maybe you should stop walking around in your 5" thigh-high stilletto boots with your ass in the air. How can you blame the Giraffe?

Just because i like to look good in my miniskirt with a little ass cleavage showing doesn't mean he had the right to penetrate me. he should have at least bought me a drink and slipped me something extra. No means No unless it really means yes! oh god yes, no, yes yes no.

So a guy arrives at the pearly gates, and must stand before Saint Peter.
St. Peter "have you done anything of good merrit during your life on earth?
Guy: Well, once I saw these big, mean, nasty bikers getting ready to assault a young defenseless woman. I ran up to the biggest hairiest, scariest one, poked my finger into his chest and said "HEY!" "If you or any of your damn buddies harm a hair on that womans head, you'll answer to ME!"
St. Peter "And when was this?"
Guy: "Just a couple minutes ago".
:iceslolan

On a beautiful warm early spring day, two guys start talking while fueling their bikes at the gas station. They find out they are headed the same way, and decide to ride together.

Just as they are getting ready to leave the lot, a funeral procession begins coming past them on the street.

The first guy shuts off his bike, takes his helmet off, and stands respectfully with head bowed until the procession has passed.

The second guy, very impressed, says "You know, you don't see that kind of respect much anymore...I gotta hand it to you, that was the most decent gesture I've seen in a while..."

First guy says, "Well, she was my wife for the last twenty eight years...Let's ride..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-efwEsY5aE

"Dude! Let me try your bike. Yeah I know how to ride, c'mon"

Funny stuff Larry!

The timid tippy-toe maneuver around the parked car should have been the first clue the guy has no business being on a bike. I just can't figure out how a grown person can panic and not bother hitting the brake, pulling in the clutch, turning, etc.... to miss a fricking tree! People are idiots.

The guy probably hit the tree because he was looking at it thinking "FUCK A TREE! DON"T HIT THE ...."

Classic newbie mistake.......

The guy probably hit the tree because he was looking at it thinking "FUCK A TREE! DON"T HIT THE ...."

Classic newbie mistake.......

Target fixation :iceslolan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxYeDTR1CtE

Even funnier when the motorcycle, realizing it is owned by an idiot, commits suicide....