new lease on life

as i sit here, my right arm is in a plaster splint, i am numb.

i cannot feel my pinky, nor move it.

i can barely move my other fingers and i can barely move my thumb, i can't type properly, do up my pants or play my guitar.

i cant open a bottle of milk or hold a knive to cut my steak

my arm is tingling, or is it still numb? i do not know

but i smile, i laugh and cry that i am breathing, i am sitting on my chair, i have friends and you guys, i have a second chance.

last wednesday, exactly 1 year to the day my cousin died, i could of. i wont go into details, but my brother and i were fighting, he violantly left the kitchentable at dinner and i followed him with threats of violance (i talk alot of shit)

he went into his bed side table and took out a large hunting knive and charged me, i grabed his arms to stop him, with his rage he over powered me, and the knife penetrated my arm, lasherating my artery and cutting two important nerves.

what if he slipped? what if he cut my neck? yes, i am in a crappy situation, but the out look is good

the nerves were reconnected and my muscles restitched.

it will be sometime until i will regain proper use of my arm, but when this is over, i refuse to take life for granted any longer

no more 3pm wake ups
no more bullshit, no more hate, no more feeling bad and not doing any thing about it.


this was a struggle to write.



i thought i was going to die
i am afraid of death
but my new lease on life has overpowered my nightmare thoughts, i am still here and kicking.

no more wasting my time, no more drinking till i regret it, i have better things to do, like spend time with my dad, and my grandpa, and write music once more, and learning more of our history, and my own, and look 4ward 2 the future.

its hard not to cry, i understand what has happened, and no, i will never forgive my brother. i forgive him for what he did to my arm, but not for the senceless, shelfish attack that could of ended my short life.

ty and see u guys in the coming weeks as i heal.

oh and vinney, just 4 u opeth got me through my 3 day hosptial visit :p


peace

Dude! So sorry to hear about your bad situation. Here's hoping you'll make a full recovery. That's messed up. Is your brother in jail then?

So no more WOW then? :p

Glad to hear you're ok bro, new lease on life is always fun :D

Are you going to rethink your views on god now that he saved you? :lol:

surely the religious types would say that this is a warning from god...

surely the religious types would say that this is a warning from god...Is this proof that god reads the internet?

[Thunderous voice] Stop talking shit about me on t3h web or I'll cut j00!!!11 [/Thunderous voice]

i wont go into details, but my brother and i were fighting, he violantly left the kitchentable at dinner and i followed him with threats of violance (i talk alot of shit)

he went into his bed side table and took out a large hunting knive and charged me, i grabed his arms to stop him, with his rage he over powered me, and the knife penetrated my arm, lasherating my artery and cutting two important nerves..........

and no, i will never forgive my brother. i forgive him for what he did to my arm, but not for the senceless, shelfish attack that could of ended my short life.


From the facts above it sounds like his act of self defense was justified and that the forgiveness you seek needs to be accompanied by the acknowledgment that you were at least equally responsible if not the instigator. Forgiveness is not something to be expected of everyone, hatred or animosity in a case like yours is more the norm, but with the grace of God I hope you find the true meaning of forgiveness.

(i talk alot of shit)

WHAT?!?!? REALLY?!?!?! :rolleyes:



.......Now I sit back and wait.....:evillol:

-Davo, I'm glad you're OK mate. Sometimes it's good to have a big "wake up call" when you end up in Hospital - I've certainly had one this year (hospital for 2 days after coming off a balcony, PM me for details).

I think you should look at what happened between you and your brother again - I'd be interested to know more details, but you only have a very limited number of siblings - and believe me they make much better friends than foes. Part of your 'new lease on life' should involve fixing that relationship - while you still can, before you both go your separate ways in life angry at each other.

This "new lease of life" never lasts long.

Seen it happen so many times with other people, been there before. It wears off rather quick.


Sorry to piss on your parade.

From the facts above it sounds like his act of self defense was justified and that the forgiveness you seek needs to be accompanied by the acknowledgment that you were at least equally responsible if not the instigator. Forgiveness is not something to be expected of everyone, hatred or animosity in a case like yours is more the norm, but with the grace of God I hope you find the true meaning of forgiveness.

Forgiveness, yes, but come ON. His brother came after him with a KNIFE.

Ah, but he did antagonise him.

Ah, but he did antagonise him.

Hmmm, let's see I wouldn't try to kill any of my brothers because they antagonized me, and neither would they. Sure, we had plenty of dust ups but no one every pulled a deadly weapon with intent to use it. THAT is the difference I'm talking about.

This "new lease of life" never lasts long.

Seen it happen so many times with other people, been there before. It wears off rather quick.


Sorry to piss on your parade.
:bs:

Written with the true arrogance of a teenager. You don't know everything. Sorry to piss on your parade.

Back to you, -Davo.

You don't know everything.

Likewise.

Maybe you just have more faith in people than i do.

Forgiveness, yes, but come ON. His brother came after him with a KNIFE.

Yes he had a knife, but there is no info as to previous experiences of big brother going after little bro but it doesn't sound like an isolated incident. Lil' bro might have had enough and where were the adults anyway?

I’m not going to go into the legal BS or who’s right or wrong, that’s inconsequential at this point. What I’d like to know is what the status of the relationship between you guys is. What’s it like now between you too now?

haha thx 4 the support

my tendons were severed they will heal over 8 weeks (they were stiched back)

i have hand exercises (LOL) to work on till then.

the main nerve that feeds feeling to my pinky has a full year until it is repaired, and then when it does there is no guarantee it will properly fix to the muscles, if that happens ill need micro surgery to fix that, but all will be good :p

but the reality is i'm looking at 4-6 mnths till i can properly use my hand :( i have beer to drink :( which reminds me...i cant drink for 2 mths :(

peace

o, and lol @ the god comment haha yeah he doesnt like me much
lol!

left hand typing ftl

Forgiveness is hard, but much better than carrying bitterness with you for the rest of your life. Things happen, people do stupid things. I know what your brother did was wrong, and completely STUPID but you hurt yourself just as much as the other person by carrying around the hatred. Think about it for a while, then try to let go of it....

yea..new lease on life is always fun :biggrin:

I'm glad you're still around. A bad as that sounds, at least you get some more time here.

i thought i was going to die
i am afraid of death

I'm just curious, and I don't want to start another debate, but have you reconsidered your beliefs? I just wonder because if there is nothing after death, there's nothing to be afriad of.
o, and lol @ the god comment haha yeah he doesnt like me much
lol!
yes, He does.

I've had a couple second chances, both times I came very close to dying. The second "lease on life", or the thrid, or however many you get can last as long as you want them to, and you can stack them together (I'll be near perfect if I 'come close' again :)).

I just wonder because if there is nothing after death, there's nothing to be afriad of.

Not necessarily

My scar: I get the stitches out tomorrow.

I've already changed my sleeping habits and spending more time with Dad.

Arm is in a brace until around end of August, then months and months of physio

http://img501.imageshack.us/img501/7215/dsc00144po2.jpg

My Ulnar nerve was severed, so I have to wait a year and a bit till I'lll know if ill regain motor skills back. I play guitar mutherr fuckr.

Holy Shit that sucks dude.

What's happened within your family since?

Holy Shit that sucks dude.

What's happened within your family since?

my bro and i are still best mates, every thing is normal, as it was before hand (no pun intended)

the hospital called the cops had to convince them it was an acco, but everythin is sweet

i cant do simple shit still. i can barely open a letter open and im in constant pain, but deep down i hate my brother for what hes done to me. but i dont show it.

my bro owes me more than he can dream, and the cunt is buying a new computer despite owing me hundreds in back pay he agreed to help me pay for shit 4 mum. little fuck.

Wow dude thats NUTS. I couldn't imagine that kinda of pain. Sorry manz, hope you heal quickly.

Your brother needs a wake up call. Have him charged with assault.

Agreed.

Wow dude thats NUTS. I couldn't imagine that kinda of pain. Sorry manz, hope you heal quickly.

thanks bro, lucky for me there is no physical pain, my nerve was severed LOL but I was still high on morphine for two days. Don't do that, unless you like being so tired you can barely moan yet can't fall asleep.


My brother does need a wake up call, I agree, but I'd rather suffer in silence than put my mum through more pain. Everything she's ever done is for us, and I can't see where I have the right to deny her a peaceful and loving family (despite the attack), I just can't do that to her. She's a heavy smoker diabetic, high blood pressure... I can't put her through unbearable stress that could literally kill her, I'd kill my self :(

Shame I don't have religion to cuddle up too haha. At least I have pie.

Is now a good time to remind people of the old saying: there's no smoke without fire?

Playing Devil's Adovate here but we can only hear one side of the story here and so far, we haven't heard the circumstances behind the attack.

Is now a good time to remind people of the old saying: there's no smoke without fire?

Playing Devil's Adovate here but we can only hear one side of the story here and so far, we haven't heard the circumstances behind the attack.

Funny how near death experiments can turn ppl 180. Trust me, I know exactly what you're talking about dude.

Let the scar remind u not of the incident, but the life lesson you have taken away from it.

Good luck and speedy recovery

Is now a good time to remind people of the old saying: there's no smoke without fire?

Playing Devil's Adovate here but we can only hear one side of the story here and so far, we haven't heard the circumstances behind the attack.

We were arguing over his car. He lost his license earlier that night and was threatening to sell his car, I tried to tell him he can keep the car as a project, get it fixed then when he gets his license back he'll have the best car on the market.

How did he respond? He threw his entire dinner plate at me, which hit me in the neck, that's when I got up as said in my OP.

Sounds like your bro needs some therapy.

See, this is a tough one.

I have always been of the mind that the best thing a friend can do is to tell you when you are wrong. It does nothing for you to "protect" him, especially seeing as this isn't a small thing. The next time, it might not be you and they might not be so lucky.

Granted that you did provoke him as you said (and lets ignore the stupity in that anyway) but that was still an extreme action/reaction that can't be ignored.