The Points System

>> > > This explains why we men can't win!
>> > > In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman
>>happy.
>> >Do something she likes, and you get points.
>> > > Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get
>>any
>> > > points for doing something she expects.
>> > > Here is a guide to the points system:
>> > >
>> > > SIMPLE DUTIES
>> > >
>> > > You make the bed...+1
>> > > You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative
pillows...0
>> > > You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...-1
>> > > You leave the toilet seat up...-5
>> > > You replace the toilet paper roll when it is
empty...0
>> > > When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to
Kleenex...-1
>> > > When the Kleenex runs out you use the next
bathroom... -2
>> > > You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with
wings... +5
>> > > In the snow...+8
>> > > But return with beer...-5
>> > > And no liners...-25
>> > > You check out a suspicious noise at night...0
>> > > You check out a suspicious noise and it is
nothing...0
>> > > You check out a suspicious noise and it is
something...+5
>> > > You pummel it with a six iron...+10
>> > > It's her cat...-40
>> > >
>> > > AT THE PARTY
>> > >
>> > > You stay by her side the entire party...0
>> > > You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat
with a college
>> >drinking buddy...-2
>> > > Named Tiffany...-4
>> > > Tiffany is a dancer...-10
>> > > With breast implants...-18
>> > >
>> > > HER BIRTHDAY
>> > >
>> > > You remember her birthday...0
>> > > You buy a card and flowers...0
>> > > You take her out to dinner...0
>> > > You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports
bar...+1
>> > > Okay, it is a sports bar...-2
>> > > And it's all-you-can-eat night...-3
>> > > It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is
>>painted
>> >the colours of your favourite team ...-10
>> > >
>> > > A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
>> > >
>> > > Go with a pal...0
>> > > The pal is happily married...+1
>> > > The pal is single...-7
>> > > He drives a Ferrari.... -10
>> > > With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)...-15
>> > >
>> > > A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
>> > >
>> > > You take her to a movie...+2
>> > > You take her to a movie she likes...+4
>> > > You take her to a movie you hate...+6
>> > > You take her to a movie you like.....-2
>> > > It's called Death Cop III...-3
>> > > Which features Cyborgs that eat humans...-9
>> > > You lied and said it was a foreign film about
orphans...-15
>> > >
>> > > YOUR PHYSIQUE
>> > >
>> > > You develop a noticeable potbelly...-15
>> > > You develop a noticeable potbelly & exercise to get
rid of it...+10
>> > > You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to
loose jeans and baggy
>> >Hawaiian shirts...-30
>> > > You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one
too."...-800
>> > >
>> > > THE BIG QUESTION
>> > >
>> > > She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
>> > > You hesitate in responding...-10
>> > > You reply, "Where?"...-35
>> > > You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"...-100
>> > > Any other response...-20
>> > >
>> > > COMMUNICATION
>> > >
>> > > When she wants to talk about a problem:
>> > > You listen, displaying a concerned expression...0
>> > > You listen, for over 30 minutes...+5
>> > > You relate to her problem and share a similar
experience...+ 50
>> > > You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear
her saying,
>>"well,
>> >what do you think I should do?"...-100
>> > > You have fallen asleep...-200
>> > >
>> > > ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
>> > >
>> > > You talk...-100
>> > > You don't talk.... -150
>> > > You spend time with her...-200
>> > > You don't spend time with her...-500
>> > > You seem to be enjoying yourself...-1000
>> > >
>> > > GAME OVER - YOU LOSE

At least now I know why I never seem to win......:rolleyes:

ACK:eek: :eek: who ever said being a guy was ez :cry:

Oz clears everything up. ALL HAIL OZ!

:huh: no wonder I can't get a girlfriend...All hail Oz!!

Why is it that when a woman finds her 'perfect' man,as soon as she marries him,she tries to change him,and continues to do so until she no longer likes what he becomes?

AHhaah, isnt that the whole truth :silly2: