98 blazer electrical problems

I have a 98 S-10 Blazer that I swear is haunted.
It goes into 4WD on it's own, the rear hatch will open by itself and the
windshield wipers work when they want.
I have also noticed that I get a nasty shock everytime I exit the vehicle.
Any ideas?

Bad ground or a shorted wire somewhere.

Check for a poor body ground. There should be a ground wire that goes from the negative battery cable to the body. It should be located under the hood. Remove it and clean up the contacts, then reinstall or run a new ground wire.

Your shock when exiting is probably due more to cloth seats, low humidity, and possibly low carbon content tires than related to the other electrical issues. Sounds like static. But, for the rest of the issues, I'd agree that you probably have a bad ground or two or three causing those issues.

-Rod