Am i too young?

Hey guys theres this girl at work that i like, now I've got her number and have asked her out already but she said no(didn't exactly say no though). The thing is that I'm 18 and shes 23. I really do like this girl should i keep trying to get her to go on a date with me? We don't get to talk too much or at all at work as i am very busy most times.

Also i leave for a 2 week holiday on Feb 10. I want something to happen before i leave, or that asking for too much?

ps i have no previous experience with asking a girl out:shakehead

Thanks

Bryan

I wouldn't say you're too young at this point, but from what it seems, just more inexperienced than anything. My guess would be that she can also pick up on this fact and, as someone who probably does have experience, may be declining your requests based on what she can tell thus far.

Honestly, if you are really interested, keep trying, but be prepared to take no for an answer on this one (at least for now). While it's all well and good to fight for that which interests you, especially when it is the attention of a woman, you may have to just deal with the idea that she isn't interested in that type of relationship, for whatever reason.

If you want to have more of an impact at work, it doesn't mean you have to stand and waste tons of time talking to her either. Maybe it's a glance and a smile in her direction from time to time or a simple compliment about something she's wearing(as long as it doesn't come of creepy)/something she did(haircut)/the type of perfume she wears - something that you could say in just a couple minutes of passing and perhaps carry on a two or three minute conversation with. Also take note of things she does at work (not to sound stalkerish) like what she might read or if you hear her talking about something that you know about as well, so that you can relate to her on a more personal level by just saying something like "hey, I overheard you talking about...." or "hey, I saw you were reading [book name].... are you interested in these types of things..." It's (not always, but can be many times) things like these that will allow her to see that you really are interested on a more personal level and will perhaps get you to the first date.

Now, anyone feel free to correct me if you think I'm out of line, but I really just think she doesn't know enough about you (from the information you've provided) to feel comfortable in saying yes to a first date, along with the fact that an experienced woman can usually tell when an inexperienced man asks her out. Not your fault - it's just something that you have to work on. We've all been there.

I hope that helps in some way.

Too old IMO for you. When I was 17 i dated a 21 yr old and while it worked and everything, even got engaged, it was different. When I was 19, almost 20 I dated a 24 yr old and it was a big difference. Maybe it was just her. She said I was immature at times, joking aorund. I just like to have fun and still do with my fiancee and she laughs. Of course the other girl, the "mature" one loved the occasionally outing with drinking while she was on probabtion. So go figure where common sense and ideas lie.

But maturity has a lot to do with it and when you're at that age, dating is different then what you may know. So you could really mature, but to date, you don't just ask anyone randomly. Be yourself and what not, but from my experience a girl has to get to know you a little more than usual or at least during an event before you ask her out.

Example: Group outings gives a girl and guy a chance to know each other before an official date or an all day event like a wedding, BBQ, etc and then you can ask her out at the end of the day or the next day if she gave you her number.

But from what you said, your biggest problem is that she's not getting chance to know you. To her, you're probably just some kid.

Thanks a lot guys, your words are true and very encouraging.

I think i should tell the whole story maybe I'm not getting something that has happened and you kind bunch may spot it out for me. So here goes:

I've been working in a factory for about 4 months now and have made quite a few friends, majority of the workers are ladies in their late 20's early 50's. There is one lady(JUNE) who i am good friends with now and is in fact the one that got me the girls number.

I am currently a team leader and i move around the warehouse a lot.

This is how i got the number.

There is a girl in my team who i joke around with, i have no feelings towards this girl and would only offer my friendship. Now June is working next to my team and says to me that i like this girl(the one i my team), I told her that i don't like her and have someone else on my but mind but I'm not gonna say who. I told June who it was and she tells me "I'll get her number for you". I said that I'd get it myself but with how busy the factory is at the moment finding time would be a mission.

We had a 10 minute break for those doing over-time and this is when June got an opportunity to ask her, the girl kept asking who the number was for but June wouldn't tell, then the lady who gives the girl a lift to and from work says i know who it is, it's Bryan. June had come back from her break and told me what was said in the locker room and.......That she had just broken up with her boyfriend from overseas last night!

So it's the next day and June asks her for the number but now that she knows who the number is going to she keeps saying "He's too young". I didn't receive the girls number till a few hours before the end of the day so during work i was pretty much gutted by the fact that she thinks I'm too young( i may sound angry here but i assure you i am not), when i did receive the number i was quite happy for fact that she knew who the number was going too, said he was too young but gave it out anyway.

Now we(Australia) are currently having a long weekend to celebrate Australia Day and thought this would be a good opportunity to ask her out. I sent a text message asking if she had plans? In which she replies that she doesn't and is just gonna stay at home, but at the end of the message she asked how i got her number? I told her the truth that June gave it to me. Her reply said now she knows why June kept asking for it then she put maybe one of her friends gave June her number.

I sent a message asking her if she'd like to go watch a movie over the long weekend but she said she just wants to stay at home or maybe go to a friends house. At this point i am confused if that is a NO PERIOD or not now.

I have a message that i have composed on my phone that seems pretty straight forward about things, but will not send it yet nor post it up here until i hear what you guys/gals have got to say.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my issues and any suggestions, opinions are welcome

Much Appreciated

Bryan

Forgot to mention although i am only 18 i have received many compliments on how mature i am compared to other 18 year olds. However I'm not too sure if they are referring to my attitude towards life or my work ethics. I am in no way trying to boast about myself but i truly think that i am more mature than most in my age bracket as i have been out of school longer and in what i call "The Real World" longer than they have so my attitude has changed dramatically although occasionally i may still do something stupid(not proud:disappoin ).

Back off back way way off. SHe was probably nice enough to say nothing too harsh about you getting her number, which for one never ever ever ever ever ever contact a person with a number you received form someone else unless it's for a dire reason. example:work, school, something important related.

Everything I'm getting is there some happy go lucky woman trying to play match maker. While you're not some weird stalker getting her number somehow and calling her but a victim of this woman's weird love match game, the girl probably thinks you are. You have her number. She didn't give it to you therefore, no reason to contact her. I'd lay off and move on. Your 18, there's so much out there. Besides, like what happened to me, I realize daing an older girl wasn't so great. That one...aniwho.

Seriously, give it up before you really make things weird and she starts talking about you. Girls do that especially when some guy from out of no where contacts her and she has no idea who you are initially then asks how you got her number.

Also, she just had a breakup, you seem...coming from a guy it sounds weird but I'll say it anyhow, sweet. If anything, she gets so desperate, something happens between ya'll and then you think something is going on but it's just a rebound and well there you hav it. You get screwed...no pun intended and things get weird.

Here's a life lesson. Don't get involved with people you work with unless there's an absolute way to avoid them I something happens. Even then, people talk, things spread...

I speak from much much much experience being on either side and listening to it from friends. Guys, girls, both on either side as well. I was like a guidance counselor. Idk why...

I guess i should tell a few things i know about her, Firstly she is Filipino(as am i) and she has only been in Australia for a few months. Well i don't know that much about her but reading/posting in this thread is only making me want to know her more(i probably sound like a stalker). About her number, apparently she did know who it was going to. Should i ask her if she did/didn't give it?

Damien i now know you have experienced dating older women although she may not be like the girl you dated. From what i see at work she is a very quiet, sweet and polite girl. We have spoken a few times though it was no conversation but she seemed to see me as someone she could befriend quite easily.

Before she knew i liked her and before her boyfriend broke up with her we did glance at each other and there would be a smile from both sides, but even with that me being so young i tend to think she's laughing at me instead of smiling.

You say I'm young and there is plenty more out there but the feelings that i am feeling now,...........well it's hard to describe.

Every time i read through this post i feel as though I'm being defensive and not listening but I'm not trying to be and i am taking in your words carefully.

if a girl says "no" in any way, sharp or form, it means "no".
if she's saying "no" to mean, "c'mon, try a little harder", you'll be forever trying harder.

don't think about.
move on.

and if you want her to think you are more mature; don't do anything via text message.

Has nothing to do witht he one girl, I'm talking about what you say and yes, you starting to sound ify my man. But still, I gotta end up doing this after your last post.

:banghead::banghead::banghead:

OK now i am really confused, she sent me text message last night and we kept messaging each other for a good hour. Does she only want to be friends now?

in all likelihood, she is too polite to tell you leave her alone or not reply to a message.

So tell me, is the only reason you're interested is because she is also filipino?

The only way to make her interested in you is to ignore her for a few weeks.

drunken monkey I'm not trying to have a dig at you but did you read my post before yours? SORRY MATE JUST SAW THAT YOUR POST WAS ONLY A FEW MINUTES AFTER MINE SO YOU MAY HAVE NOT SEEN IT

Oz a few weeks might make her think I've lost interest in her, she is a VERY shy girl.

We were text messaging each other a lot during the long weekend and still are now, at work though it's different. When she goes to work she's there to work. I'll try to get to know her more then maybe I'll ask her out again.

Also she thought i was 17 so that could be a reason she didn't want to go out.

Well thanks again for your support fellas.

Yes i did read your post.
What does that have anything to do with what I said and asked?

yeah...17 and 18 make all the difference..................

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:rolleyes:

If you're going to ignore the opinions of experience, you'll be stuck in the friend zone forever.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladder_theory

You gotta bust that shit open and get out of your own head. I've met every girl that I've dated by accident. Just let life happen. You're 18! Go to a strip club with your boys or something! Or play D & D, whatever you're into...ha!

I'm 19, and have been dating a 24 y/o for the better part of 9 months. Maturity of both parts has to do with it. So it can work. It just depends how much you two have in common. That means interest, and dating mentality/maturity. It also depends on how she see's you, as in what age she see's you. When I first met the girl I am dating, she thought I was a lot older.

Granted now, we did have to deal with the age difference causing an issue amongst friends for a couple months. But if you're willing to go through it, and know how to go through it, its worth it.

But after reading your posts...she doesnt sound too interested, maybe a little bit curious, but dont get your hopes up too much.

Here's a life lesson. Don't get involved with people you work with very good advice! even if things are great between you two, co-workers talk, and start rumors.

Go easy, she likely knows guys better than you know gals. Age, meh, I've dated and been with both older and younger than I by a "margin" at times.

Be nice, keep recognizing her, sort of always say "Hi" or nod at her with a sincere smile. Like you are always glad to see her, no matter what. Gals dig that, they are self-absorbed at times, they like attention or is it "attendance"?

Hey guys, Firstly i just want to let you guys know i appreciate all the words that were said.

Secondly, the relationship between us gotten better. We text message each other a lot, we glance at each other with a little smile at work, and lastly i took her out today. We didn't do much, i took her to a mall that she has never been too before. It was awkward as it was my first time ever taking a girl out before but i think it went quite well. There were a few awkward silences but i did my best to get to know her more and the more i got to know the more interested i got.

Thirdly, I am happy that i got to take her out or at least spend time with her before my trip overseas.

Once again guys i appreciate and thank you for your words.

Sometimes it has nothing to do with maturity. Sometimes a girl just has it in her head that it won't work because of age and doesn't give it a chance.

When I was 18 a friend tried setting me up with another of her friends. We all went out for a night and had a good time, I talked to the girl for awhile and things seemed to be going well until later in the night she asked how old I was... I said 18 and she said "oh I'm 22". Well after that the convo seemed a little forced and I got the idea. Whatever.

Funny thing is though 5 or 6 years later we ran into each other again at a reunioun type thing and really hit it off, wound up dating for a few months, even though I was 24 and she was 27 at that point.

I think age difference plays less of a role as you get older. Either that or she was 27 and had nobody so she lowered her age standards:lol:

^Sounds more like the latter. :p

Good to hear Naruto. Just had to give it time and never rush into things. It's best to either play hard to get or give it time.

well I'm back from my holiday and happy to say things are still good, we kept in touch while i was away via e-mail and yeah she seemed to be more comfortable in what she says so hopefully I'm getting somewhere.

Also i just started work today. I told everyone i was leaving for good as I'm still a casual and that by the time i get back from my holiday my contract would be finished.

She saw me this morning and got a big surprise, her reaction was to rush into the factory. Haha

I also got got her a little gift from Tokyo Disneyland and a shirt from Hong Kong.

I hope to take her out soon but sad to say I'm pretty much dead broke.

So guys and gals thought i'd update u and once again your words are appreciated.

Thanks

Bryan