I know it's late but.......

Christmas Function

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.

There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm.

Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.

This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our
CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.

We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."

The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present. No
Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party!

Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off
on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy.

Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the
restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other.

Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed though.

We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first.

There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO : All Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The #$%*!@% Holiday Party

Vegetarians?!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your #$%^&*! salad bar, including organic tomatoes.

But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've
heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!


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FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO : All Employees
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

:evillaugh

:lol2:

Very nice.:silly2: :silly2: :silly2:.Sounds disturbingly like my factory. :uhoh: :uhoh: :uhoh:.
GOOD TO SEE YA DOC! :dogpile: :dogpile: :dogpile: :dogpile: :dogpile:.Where the hell have you been?:jumpie: :jumpie: :jumpie:

This is funny:D but the fact that is so true makes it sad.:(

:hehehe: ROFLMAO......best laugh I've had for a while now.....:lol2::hehe: :hehe:



good to see ya back doc....



:sun: :sun:

That was awesome Doc!!!!!!!


Sort of overshadowed by the docs return though:D

:hehehe: :lol2:

Nice way to return DVS! :D

:lol2:

Welcome back Doc! OT has missed you...

Thanks guys!! Work is hell man. I thought things would be a little different when I started it, but turns out it takes a lot of my time. I get home and I'm too tired to do anything but sleep. But I will try and get on when I can. Hopefully I won't be offline too much.

DVS

:spit:

The truth of it makes it funny! BTW, nice to see you back man!

Bloody newbie's posting in here :finger: :finger:

Oh...is that you DOC :confused:


Pisssssssst.....get that darn phone of yours fixed :(

Originally posted by primera man
get that darn phone of yours fixed :(


What did we discuss on sunday about his ocupation.
He was listening to us. :eek:

Originally posted by Moppie



What did we discuss on sunday about his ocupation.
He was listening to us. :eek:
I thought it might have been his back hurting as we took turns turning the knife :devil: :devil:

Sorry about the missed call Warren. I'll try and catch ya this weekend.

As for the phone thing, I have a caller ID now due to some prankster calling my house. Therefore, I don't know exactly how it works for overseas calls, but you need to find out how to identify yourself on the phone system so that it shows up on the caller ID. I know for all US calls, you just need to put *82 (area code) number.

I hope this new job of yours is working out as you hoped. The long hours are easier when you like what your doing. :) There is definately a hole on this board without your particular view on things Doc :D