another joke
esp
01-15-2003, 10:00 PM
try this one:
again kind of long sorry but funny
Oil Changes
Women:
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil
change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.
Men:
1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil,
filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back
to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in the process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips head screwdriver and twist it
off.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to
gasket first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil
drains onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December
(1992) in the left boob.
32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
36. Beer.
37. Lower car from jack stands
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil
spilled during step 23.
40. Drive car 1/2 quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time for another
oil change.
again kind of long sorry but funny
Oil Changes
Women:
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil
change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.
Men:
1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil,
filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back
to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in the process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips head screwdriver and twist it
off.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to
gasket first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil
drains onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December
(1992) in the left boob.
32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
36. Beer.
37. Lower car from jack stands
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil
spilled during step 23.
40. Drive car 1/2 quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time for another
oil change.
esp
01-16-2003, 08:51 AM
guess nobodly liked this one
primera man
01-16-2003, 12:57 PM
Originally posted by esp
.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
36. Beer.
Screw the oil change...i say just do these steps :flash: :flash:
.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
36. Beer.
Screw the oil change...i say just do these steps :flash: :flash:
esp
01-16-2003, 03:42 PM
Originally posted by primera man
Screw the oil change...i say just do these steps :flash: :flash:
yes yes it sounds much better
Screw the oil change...i say just do these steps :flash: :flash:
yes yes it sounds much better
YogsVR4
01-16-2003, 04:17 PM
eh - it'd be funnier if there was more truth to it
esp
01-16-2003, 05:23 PM
Originally posted by YogsVR4
eh - it'd be funnier if there was more truth to it
you want funny read the drive through jokes in another one of my joke threads
eh - it'd be funnier if there was more truth to it
you want funny read the drive through jokes in another one of my joke threads
taranaki
02-03-2003, 04:27 AM
Originally posted by primera man
Screw the oil change...i say just do these steps :flash: :flash:
.......AND THEY TRUST YOU TO MAINTAIN RAILWAY LOCOMOTIVES?:eek: :eek: :eek:
No wonder Tranzrail is up shit creek!;)
Screw the oil change...i say just do these steps :flash: :flash:
.......AND THEY TRUST YOU TO MAINTAIN RAILWAY LOCOMOTIVES?:eek: :eek: :eek:
No wonder Tranzrail is up shit creek!;)
Misundaztood
02-03-2003, 07:29 AM
Originally posted by esp
guess nobodly liked this one I liked it.:dogpile:
guess nobodly liked this one I liked it.:dogpile:
esp
02-03-2003, 08:28 AM
Originally posted by Misundaztood
I liked it.:dogpile:
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooo oooooooooooooooooooooo
ok i'm done now:D :D :D :D
I liked it.:dogpile:
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooo oooooooooooooooooooooo
ok i'm done now:D :D :D :D
v10_viper
02-03-2003, 06:22 PM
oh hehe that was great, gotta love the cussing fit
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