Some amusing daily Zen.
Polygon
01-13-2003, 03:40 PM
I don’t know if this is a repost, so if it is, too damn bad. So I don't know it any of you have seen these, if not, then I made them up, yes they’re all mine!!
:uhoh:
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
14. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
15. If you always tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
16. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
17. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
20. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
:uhoh:
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
14. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
15. If you always tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
16. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
17. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
20. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Shortbus
01-13-2003, 03:54 PM
ROFL
Good stuff man:jump:
Good stuff man:jump:
Graphik Styles
01-13-2003, 05:21 PM
heh heh
Oz
01-13-2003, 05:23 PM
:lol2:
ragt20
01-13-2003, 05:25 PM
nice :hehe: very nice....:D
YogsVR4
01-13-2003, 05:48 PM
Never hurts to see the good ones now and then :)
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