advice.

this ones long......sorry.....Oh well I think T man is the only one that reads my lists anyway. I'm pretty shure he thinks I'm crazy too. :D

1. "Never trust a man who grips his pencil like a tennis racket."

2. "Evertime you buy something on TV, you shave $19.95 off
your intelligence."

3. "If she has a tattoo, you're gonna get laid."

4. "As soon as a man wraps a pink sweater around his waist,
his life no longer has any meaning."

5. "Nobody gives a shit about the dream you had last night."

6. "It doesn't matter how soft or what color the toilet paper is,
you're about to wipe shit all over it and flush down the toilet."

7. "Nobody looks good in a green sport coat."

8. "If a movie is set against the backdrop of a historical
disaster, it's going to suck."

9. "Never buy a used car from a man who's wearing a tie that
doesn't reach his belt."

10. "If she vacuums, she's a keeper. If she smokes, she's gonna
cheat on you."

11. "Kids with blue hair and noserings know how to have a good
time. Kids who wear khaki pants and white button-up shirts
rob elderly women to buy herion.


12. "If you know the difference between an HPI Micro RS4 and a
HPI Micro RTR, there are no girls on your buddylist."

13. "If you can't see your feet and you need a reaching stick to
turn on the tv, you can go ahead and scratch the 'diet' off your
list of resolutions."

14. "Never launch a military compaign against Russia in the
middle of winter. They know all the good hiding spots."

15. "If a girl tells you she's a virgin, that girl is a liar."

16. "If you want to know the quickest way to get somewhere, ask
the blind guy with no legs rolling around on a skateboard."


17. "No man will ever understand the emotions a woman goes
through when she learns that shoes are on sale somewhere."

18. "Do whatever you want with your life. Just make sure you
don't die wearing orange flip-flops."


19. "Never leave your children alone in the same room with a
man who dots his i's with little stars."

20. "If you have to ask someone else if the milk is still good,
it isn't.

21. "Remember, if you're trying to score with an emo girl, you
can't just wear glasses and a dorky t-shirt, you also have
to act all whiny and depressed and shit."

22. "Nobody looks good in yellow shorts."

23. "Unless you get paid to snort cocaine off the tits of French
supermodels and roll around in a big pile of money all day,
nobody cares what you do for a living."

24. "Girls, don't let your boyfriend take those pictures. They're
going to end up on the internet after you break up."

25. "Guys, don't let your girlfriend read this before you take
those pictures."

26. "Just because a squirrel treats you to a movie and nice meal
at a classy restaurant, it doesn't mean his intentions are
entirely honorable."

27. "If your penis catches on fire, panic."

28. "If you ever get into a fight with an emo kid--you're going to
win. Unless you're an emo kid, in which case you'll probably
just slap each other until one of you loses your glasses."

29. "If there's more than fifty people in line, your girlfriend's
a slut."

30. "Don't ever hook up with a girl who wears black lipstick.
You don't know where she's been."

31. "'See you next Tuesday!' is a really sneaky way of calling
someone a cunt. Trust me, you'll get it on your way to
work tomorrow."

32. "If your wife wakes up in the morning, eats breakfast,
goes to work, comes home, eats dinner, watches tv, has
sex with you, and goes to sleep -- she's probably having
an affair with somebody."

33. "Forgiveness leads to betrayal."

34. "A PTA meeting is not the proper place to scream 'ninja
fuck shit cock!' at the top of your lungs. Just take my word
for it."

35. "If you put pictures of a Playboy model on your website,
gay guys and fat girls are gonna be pissed."

3 = TRUE! Personal experience...



Rest :evillaugh:evillaugh:evillaugh:evillaugh:evillaugh

number 27 seems to be good advice:bandit:

Originally posted by Oz
3 = TRUE! Personal experience...



Rest :evillaugh:evillaugh:evillaugh:evillaugh:evillaugh

ah no 3 is bullshit

34. "A PTA meeting is not the proper place to scream 'ninja fuck shit cock!'" it is if #3 just happened to you!:spit: :spit:

Originally posted by darkness


ah no 3 is bullshit

If the tattoo says 'Dykes on Bikes"..........I guess so...:(

Originally posted by taranaki


If the tattoo says 'Dykes on Bikes"..........I guess so...:(



:lol2: that is funnier than the list itself :lol2:


Don't worry hybrid- your list was still :coolguy:


Number 15 is something I always assume :angel:

Originally posted by hybridsol


24. "Girls, don't let your boyfriend take those pictures. They're
going to end up on the internet after you break up."

25. "Guys, don't let your girlfriend read this before you take
those pictures."



25 is important.

Originally posted by Jimmy_11_cars





Number 15 is something I always assume :angel:
:D how bout 33?

:D Those are pretty damn good :D

Originally posted by hybridsol

27. "If your penis catches on fire, panic."



I find that to be the best Advice i've ever been told...

All the rest were good too :D

Took me a bit, but I finally got the whole "see you next tuesday" bit... gonna remember that.

Originally posted by ci5ic
Took me a bit, but I finally got the whole "see you next tuesday" bit... gonna remember that.

I still don't get it.:confused:

Originally posted by Steel


I still don't get it.:confused:

See (C) You (U) Next Tuesday

Originally posted by Steel


I still don't get it.:confused:
should have clarified that. :)

Originally posted by Steel


I still don't get it.:confused:


Can't
Understand
Normal
Thinking.......

:finger:

Thanks for the good advice hybird! Geez, I wouldn't have caught the "see you next tuesday" line if you guys hadn't clarifyed it! Did you write any other ones like this in the past?

Originally posted by Honoturtle
Thanks for the good advice hybird! Geez, I wouldn't have caught the "see you next tuesday" line if you guys hadn't clarifyed it! Did you write any other ones like this in the past?
I posted a bunch of lists of vital information in off topic-
like these-
pulling off a sobriety test-
http://139.81.142.25/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=80109
how to survive the grocery store-
http://139.81.142.25/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=74097
12 signs that your proffesor is crazy-
http://139.81.142.25/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=74098
The guide to unsuccessfull dating-
http://139.81.142.25/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=73081
Sucessfull buisness techniques-
http://139.81.142.25/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=73081
signs you spend way to much time online-
http://139.81.142.25/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=73230
..there may be more.........and T man those ppl at the grocery store are really trying to kill me!!!!!:lol2:

dude.....you have way to much time on your hands.........

is a good list, i think i will commit it to memory:)

I find the commentary on the Grocery Store to be very helpful...

Although I dont put mustard on my shoes... I do ranch dressing.