Love is such bullshit

I think I can just about declare that for the first time in my life, I am in love. And I am miserable. I can't eat much, nor sleep, and because I have the dreadful timing of falling for a girl when she needs more space because of career and grad. school, I am pushing her away! I am not seeking advice, I have gotten so much advice that I am blue in the face. All I do know is that I need this to go away. I love her, but I think I would be willing to give it up in order to get my stability back.

This is the all-mighty love, the intangible thing that I have waited almost 26 years to finally experience? You're big, and powerful, much more so than me, I'll give you that, but thanks for nothing. I push this amazing girl away because you have made me insecure and neurotic. What a fucking mess.

Here's hoping that next time you open this thread,you have worked through some of the issues and come up with answers that you can live with.

Love and relationships -like a beautiful ice sculpture.Fragile,slippery, and wonderful to have,but you must treat them with care if you want them to last.Hold on to them for took long,and they will melt away in front of your eyes.Take great care of them,because even though they are made of the simplest of things,once broken,they are gone forever.

Thanks Naki :) I actually have worked through a lot of the issues I referred to above. I've been in rough shape, to varying degrees, for a little over a week now. The culmination came last night, when I was seriously thinking that I needed to see a shrink, get on some Zanex or similar drug to get my brain chemistry back in order, and perhaps take a leave of absence from work to move back in with mom and dad in NYC until I get myself back on my feet. Fortunately, it did not come to that.

I slept terribly again last night, and somehow did about the fastest, most efficient work that I am capable of out in the field today, for the second day in a row. Amazing how focused I am when trying to block out negative thoughts and "bad energy." I was going through my phases of depression and despondency throughout the day, amidst my neverending mulling on my feelings, with stints of hope, though clouded by the omnipresent fear of... whatever. But late in the day, what one of my best friends had been telling me over and over finally grabbed me a bit: BASBHAT. BASBHAT! Translation: Bitches Ain't Shit But Hos And Tricks. Yes, I know this is a little offensive to any female readers out there, and I apologize, but hey, this is the Stress Release Forum. And I also recalled my little mantra that I use if a girl "turns me down" when out at a bar: how crazy/dumb is she for not wanting me - she doesn't know what she's missing. This is not the maturest approach to dealing with this situation, i.e. with a girl that I love, but I don't care: it worked. Because it worked, it leads me to believe that it was not in fact love, but just an intense connection, but the jury is still out!

On the trip back (from the field job I was working at), I took a nap in the truck, and although I never fell 100% asleep, I felt more relaxed that I had in days (i.e. without supplemental intake of Jameson Irish Whiskey to calm my nerves). After about an hour, I sat up in a Zen-like state of calm, feeling very at peace with everything, even when my conservative co-worker Chris went on another "friggin' liberals this" and "friggin' liberals that" tirade. I knew I was going to be okay for the company Christmas party this evening, which she was to accompany me to. It went beautifully. Not thoughts of love, no crazy thoughts of a paranoid nature, everything was cool. Now I am home, relatively early with a few beers in me, ready for the final test: to see if I can sleep.. well. It is nice to have found way through this madness. I just hope that it ends well.

Originally posted by JD@af
I just hope that it ends well.


We do too buddy. :smoker2:

reading your words has actually helped me some, in my life I have 2 major life decisons to choose from, I can have both, but to choose one means the other wont happen for years, your words helped push me closer to one.

Thanks

Oh dear god :huh:


I don't want to know what the follow on to this thread is going to be.


:(

Heh, im making sure that love shit never happens to me after the whole nina experience. My love's now are the 7 and the Dragunov. All i need :)

as I have stated before.

Love is an illusion perpetuated by the instinctual need to procreate.

Originally posted by darkness
Love is an illusion perpetuated by the instinctual need to procreate.

I say the same thing about birth control....

yeah i know about that love bug, i've had it for about a year and a half now with My g/f. tons of ups and downs, and it does take alot of work. but to tell u the truth, i think that i kinda like it this way ya know with the ups and downs....makes life more interesting in my opinion

I've had the ups and downs, some pretty big ones.

I don't want it anymore. I always seem to choose the fucked up ones.

Relationships are like Big Macs.The advertising makes you want one,but they never look like the picture on the wall.And still even when you've had one,and been disappointed,sooner or later,the advertising will persuade you to invest in another....:(

:devil:
I suppose love is just an act of the devil....

Originally posted by Steel
Heh, im making sure that love shit never happens to me after the whole nina experience. My love's now are the 7 and the Dragunov. All i need :)

werd, my cars the only girl I need right now. :cool:

Would be nice to have someone to go to movies and kick it with though :(

Love is probabely the most beautiful think and sentiment. ;)

Welcome to reality.

hein ???!