Clicking noise when engine off

Hope someone can help me figure this out

About a month ago I'd been having trouble starting my 91 accord. it wouldn't turn over, i would let it sit for about 5 to 10 minutes, then it would start right up. For the past month it has been starting fine. Today i tried to start it and it wouldn't turn over. I let it sit and when i came back about 2 hours later, trying to start it sounded different, not like before when it sounded like it really wanted to start, now it was more strained. So i tried it again later, and it wouldn't turn over at all and i didn't have power. I tried to jump it and when it wouldn't turn over i figured i had a starter/alternator problem. The weird part is now there is a strange clicking under the car, not the engine but more under the car btw the driver and passenger seat. if i open the driver door it stops, if i step on the brake it stops, if i put the key in the ignition (even if i just begin to put it in the ignition, not all the way) it stops. The clicking varies in speed. I have a little power, the door light and dash lights will very dimmly come on but nothing else. If anyone knows what this might be, please let me know. thanks

When you have very low amperage from the battery it's not unusual to get some odd relay chatters...it's just relays that would normally click once when signalled that aren't getting enough power to fully engage....like the solenoid death rattle that you get sometimes with a dead battery (clickclickclickclick) when you try to start it, what you are hearing is a relay that barely has enough power to engage, and once engaged, it send power to whatever system it governs, which takes more electrical power, which uses more amperage than is available, so the relay deenergizes, clicks off, now power is available again, the relay energizes, the system tries to power up, the relay drops it again, etc, in a cycle that just keeps repeating.

With small relays like body control and fuel pump, just stepping on the brake or putting the key in (like you mentioned) will take away more available amperage and make the relay stop energizing or slow it down...

In short, it's just because your battery is fried, nothing more, perfectly normal. It sounds like the battery is internally shorted, which will often make strange things happen like this.

I'd leave the battery disconnected until you get a new one...you may wear that relay out if you let it continue...

Great response, thanks!