Jokes for the Desperate
Jonno
12-03-2002, 03:43 AM
I don't know if this has been posted before, but here goes...
-Two Peanuts walk into a bar, one was a salted.
-A jumper-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".
-A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve food in here".
-A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
-A man with a slab of asphalt under his arm walks into a bar and says, " A beer please, and one for the road".
- Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, "does this taste funny to you?"
-A man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on that".
- A guy walks into a psychiatrist wearing only gladwrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts..."
- A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet and says,
"My Dogs cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well, says the vet, "lets take a look at him".
So he picks up the dog and examines its eyes and checks its teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?" says the man, "because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".
- Two elephants walk of a cliff... boom boom!
- Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad, or maybe my older brother Colin. Or maybe my younger brother, Ho-Cha-Chu. But I'm pretty sure its Colin.
-I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive".
:hehehe:
-Two Peanuts walk into a bar, one was a salted.
-A jumper-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".
-A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve food in here".
-A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
-A man with a slab of asphalt under his arm walks into a bar and says, " A beer please, and one for the road".
- Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, "does this taste funny to you?"
-A man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on that".
- A guy walks into a psychiatrist wearing only gladwrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts..."
- A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet and says,
"My Dogs cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well, says the vet, "lets take a look at him".
So he picks up the dog and examines its eyes and checks its teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?" says the man, "because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".
- Two elephants walk of a cliff... boom boom!
- Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad, or maybe my older brother Colin. Or maybe my younger brother, Ho-Cha-Chu. But I'm pretty sure its Colin.
-I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive".
:hehehe:
hybridsol
12-03-2002, 03:49 AM
Originally posted by thug_9_6
- Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad, or maybe my older brother Colin. Or maybe my younger brother, Ho-Cha-Chu. But I'm pretty sure its Colin.
- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive".
:hehehe:
hahahahahahaha :D :hehehe:
- Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad, or maybe my older brother Colin. Or maybe my younger brother, Ho-Cha-Chu. But I'm pretty sure its Colin.
- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive".
:hehehe:
hahahahahahaha :D :hehehe:
Moppie
12-03-2002, 05:08 AM
Iv just been playing GTa3 Vice City stealing tanks, so this one is almost funny. :bandit:
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive".
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive".
YogsVR4
12-03-2002, 03:51 PM
Oh lord help me - I laughed :)
ci5ic
12-03-2002, 08:39 PM
Originally posted by thug_9_6
- Two elephants walk of a cliff... boom boom!
Those were all really good, but this one makes absolutely no sense to me... It's really really dumb. Unless I'm just not getting it, in which case, could someone explain it to me? :bloated:
- Two elephants walk of a cliff... boom boom!
Those were all really good, but this one makes absolutely no sense to me... It's really really dumb. Unless I'm just not getting it, in which case, could someone explain it to me? :bloated:
tazdev
12-03-2002, 08:42 PM
BOOM as the first elephant hits the ground BOOM when the second elephant hits the ground:frog:
ci5ic
12-03-2002, 08:46 PM
Originally posted by tazdev
BOOM as the first elephant hits the ground BOOM when the second elephant hits the ground:frog:
Thanks. what would I do without you? that's what i thought, but it's still dumb, at least the other ones were funny.
BOOM as the first elephant hits the ground BOOM when the second elephant hits the ground:frog:
Thanks. what would I do without you? that's what i thought, but it's still dumb, at least the other ones were funny.
Jonno
12-04-2002, 02:04 AM
I still can't help myself from laughing at some of them...and I posted it!
:hehe:
:hehe:
Raging Bull
12-05-2002, 02:51 PM
Originally posted by thug_9_6
- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive".
:hehehe:
hahahahah, quality.
- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive".
:hehehe:
hahahahah, quality.
speediva
12-05-2002, 06:00 PM
hahaha!!! I had to laugh at those. One of them is going up on my dry-erase board. Guess which one. ;)
Automotive Network, Inc., Copyright ©2026