Hu's On First
JD@af
11-23-2002, 02:33 PM
Transcript of the conversation in the Oval Office. It's made up, but probably closer to reality than it seems.
Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
YellowMaranello
11-23-2002, 03:54 PM
:spit: lmao, that's awesome, now I have to go listen to the original sketch.
ragt20
11-23-2002, 05:18 PM
hahahah roflmao :hehehe: classic
tazdev
11-23-2002, 05:21 PM
ROTFLMFAO
:spit:
:spit:
Jimster
11-23-2002, 06:42 PM
LOL!!!!! :hehehe:, awesome stuff JD:D
YogsVR4
11-23-2002, 11:02 PM
Based on possibly the funniest skit ever. :)
Neutrino
11-24-2002, 04:11 AM
Instant Classic.
Graphik Styles
11-24-2002, 01:46 PM
hhahahah thas the funniest shit i ever heard:D:D:D
speediva
11-24-2002, 09:51 PM
:lol2: :hehe: :hehehe:
Very nice!
Very nice!
moondog
11-25-2002, 02:21 PM
hehe awesome :D :D :hehehe:
Dustin_S
11-26-2002, 10:14 PM
Originally posted by YogsVR4
Based on possibly the funniest skit ever. :)
I'm here to have an argument....
Based on possibly the funniest skit ever. :)
I'm here to have an argument....
YogsVR4
11-26-2002, 10:41 PM
Originally posted by Dustin_S
I'm here to have an argument....
No you're not! :D
psssst: Don't let Mr. T see you say that - It'll set him off big time ;)
I'm here to have an argument....
No you're not! :D
psssst: Don't let Mr. T see you say that - It'll set him off big time ;)
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