Please help a clueless dimwit out...
JD@af
11-15-2002, 07:17 AM
So I've been dating my girl for about 6 weeks now. Tomorrow is her 25th b'day, and still really don't know what to get for her :rolleyes: So far I have flowers and a card as definites, and here are some other ideas I've lined up, with qualifiers:
-Sweater, or otherwise clothes > I've been told to stay away from this, just because (I know about what size she is, but that's not the point)
-Jewelry of some kind > inappropriate since we haven't been together that long
-Concert tickets > this is a toughie since we listen to completely different types of music, but I know that The Wallflowers are coming to the Webster Theatre in Hartford in a couple weeks, and that's a great place to see a show. I bet that even if she's not a particularly big fan, that might be a fun evening for the both of us.
-Golfing paraphernalia > she's into golf, but golf equipment is not all that cheap. A gift certificate to a golfing store might be nice, but its a bit impersonal. I could state in the card that I will take her shopping, but then she might pick something that's a bit pricey, and I wouldn't want to seem cheap and ask her to find something less expensive.
-Dinner and a Movie / Nice Dinner > I could also do this, which might be a memorable evening
I apologize, I know this is lame, but I am just not the gift-shopper (which I know describes 90% of the guys out there - how typical). Thanks for your input in advance-
-JD :)
-Sweater, or otherwise clothes > I've been told to stay away from this, just because (I know about what size she is, but that's not the point)
-Jewelry of some kind > inappropriate since we haven't been together that long
-Concert tickets > this is a toughie since we listen to completely different types of music, but I know that The Wallflowers are coming to the Webster Theatre in Hartford in a couple weeks, and that's a great place to see a show. I bet that even if she's not a particularly big fan, that might be a fun evening for the both of us.
-Golfing paraphernalia > she's into golf, but golf equipment is not all that cheap. A gift certificate to a golfing store might be nice, but its a bit impersonal. I could state in the card that I will take her shopping, but then she might pick something that's a bit pricey, and I wouldn't want to seem cheap and ask her to find something less expensive.
-Dinner and a Movie / Nice Dinner > I could also do this, which might be a memorable evening
I apologize, I know this is lame, but I am just not the gift-shopper (which I know describes 90% of the guys out there - how typical). Thanks for your input in advance-
-JD :)
higgimonster
11-15-2002, 07:42 AM
I know exactly what you are going through. I had been dating my current girlfriend for just about 6 weeks when her 20th birthday came up. I was stressing over what to get her for ever. I finally ended up getting her a really nice gerber multi-tool. She loves it, but that is because she is into outdoors stuff and she had been talking about wanting one.
Jewlery is definetly a no this early. You want to save that for a special occasion.
Clothes are also a bad idea. Mabey take her shopping and let her buy what ever she wants and you pay (that one depends on her personality, my girl would love to go shopping but she would never let me pay for it.)
You could get her tickets to the Korn show coming to CT in a few weeks. (And if she doesn't like them you could send em to me down in Guilford :) )
I think the dinner and a movie is a good idea. Make sure the dinner is a dressy place (meals staring around $30 is a good base) and Harry Potter is coming out tonight, which is probably going to be fun.
I hope this helps a little. Just try and remember that as long as you do something for her she will love it.
Jewlery is definetly a no this early. You want to save that for a special occasion.
Clothes are also a bad idea. Mabey take her shopping and let her buy what ever she wants and you pay (that one depends on her personality, my girl would love to go shopping but she would never let me pay for it.)
You could get her tickets to the Korn show coming to CT in a few weeks. (And if she doesn't like them you could send em to me down in Guilford :) )
I think the dinner and a movie is a good idea. Make sure the dinner is a dressy place (meals staring around $30 is a good base) and Harry Potter is coming out tonight, which is probably going to be fun.
I hope this helps a little. Just try and remember that as long as you do something for her she will love it.
taranaki
11-15-2002, 02:35 PM
buy nothing,and run like hell.Flee while you still have the chance!
just kidding.Meal ,movie,limo ride,and behave like a gentleman for the night[open doors for her,Arrive with flowers etc,etc,].There are some things that you truly can't buy,that are truly valued.At this stage,a positive experience is far more valued as a gift than a trinket.
just kidding.Meal ,movie,limo ride,and behave like a gentleman for the night[open doors for her,Arrive with flowers etc,etc,].There are some things that you truly can't buy,that are truly valued.At this stage,a positive experience is far more valued as a gift than a trinket.
kris
11-15-2002, 04:01 PM
Oh shit, she has kept you for 6 weeks. :p
j/k
How about treating her to a day at a spa?
j/k
How about treating her to a day at a spa?
ci5ic
11-15-2002, 06:22 PM
Stay away from the big expensive stuff! Whatever you get her, it shouldn't seem like you are trying to "buy" her love. Go for the heart-felt gift every time.
For instance, even though you don't like the same music as her, if you could get tickets to a show that you know she'll enjoy, and go with her, she'll appreciate that alot. ESPECIALLY if she knows you can't stand the group or whatever. My girlfriend always enjoys it when I do things for/with her that she knows I really don't want to do.
Gifts have a tendency to speak for the giver. For instance, gift certificates are OK for people that you don't really know too well, but for say a girlfriend, it's like saying "I couldn't possibly have put less thought into this gift". Same goes for "shopping sprees".
You should get her a gift that shows you care about her, and/or shows that you listen to her. If there's ANYTHING that she has mentioned wanting/needing, try that. It's especially effective if it's something that she just mentioned offhandedly once, which will show that you listen to her and pay attention to what she thinks/says.
I hope some of that helps you out. I know that women place alot of importance on special occasions and gifts, so there's alot of pressure to get the "perfect" gift...
Anywho, good luck!
For instance, even though you don't like the same music as her, if you could get tickets to a show that you know she'll enjoy, and go with her, she'll appreciate that alot. ESPECIALLY if she knows you can't stand the group or whatever. My girlfriend always enjoys it when I do things for/with her that she knows I really don't want to do.
Gifts have a tendency to speak for the giver. For instance, gift certificates are OK for people that you don't really know too well, but for say a girlfriend, it's like saying "I couldn't possibly have put less thought into this gift". Same goes for "shopping sprees".
You should get her a gift that shows you care about her, and/or shows that you listen to her. If there's ANYTHING that she has mentioned wanting/needing, try that. It's especially effective if it's something that she just mentioned offhandedly once, which will show that you listen to her and pay attention to what she thinks/says.
I hope some of that helps you out. I know that women place alot of importance on special occasions and gifts, so there's alot of pressure to get the "perfect" gift...
Anywho, good luck!
SentraGirl
11-15-2002, 06:24 PM
I like Kris' idea about the day at the spa! My boyfriend got that for me and it was absoulutely amazing, I was very grateful:D
darkness
11-15-2002, 07:40 PM
if not the spa, do the dinner thing dude.
SilverLotus340R
11-15-2002, 07:46 PM
Harry Potter is coming out tonight, haha thats a GREAT date movie haha. Plus if ur in the theater with lil kids (like 6-8 year olds) and you do so much as kiss..you'll get popcorn or goobers thrown at you...i know from experience.
a day at the spa would be cool...but can get pricey... i would say a limo ride (or ya know what would be cool...even though expensive...isn't there a premier rentals in CT ? you could rent like a bently or a ferrari for the night...awesome ride for you while she gets pampered the night..but thats quite the rental) but a limo ride/dinner/movie..something scary thatll be something she wont forget
and dont forget flowers and candy or whatever
a day at the spa would be cool...but can get pricey... i would say a limo ride (or ya know what would be cool...even though expensive...isn't there a premier rentals in CT ? you could rent like a bently or a ferrari for the night...awesome ride for you while she gets pampered the night..but thats quite the rental) but a limo ride/dinner/movie..something scary thatll be something she wont forget
and dont forget flowers and candy or whatever
replicant_008
11-15-2002, 10:23 PM
Hmmmm....
Here's a thought.
nvite her over for dinner.
For starters make up an anti-pasto platter (holler if you want me to explain how to make an anti-pasto). Break out a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc or Riesling.
For a main...
Take two boned chicken breasts. Marinate in the following - 3 Tablespoon of Soy Sauce, add two teaspoons of liquid honey, add some slices of fresh ginger (bash with the bottom of a drink can to release the juice before adding), a good sprinkling of pepper and a teaspoon of olive oil. Put aside for a couple of hours in the fridge.
Then roast in oven at 400 degrees F on a rack over a oven dish (put half a cup of water along with the marinade in the oven dish). Be sure to baste with the liquid in the oven dish. It should take about 3/4 hour to cook. Check by inserting a toothpick into the thickest part of the chicken, the liquid should be clear.
Peel some small new potatoes, cover with water in a pot and boil until cooked.
Grill some halved peppers (ke out the seeds) brushed with a little olive oil until they start to blister.
Take some vegetables (whatever you like), chop into irregular pieces about the size of your little finger to the second knuckle. Heat a frypan or wok with a little olive oil, add the washed and drained vegetables, and a teaspoon of soy and toss vigorosly over a high heat until crisp but cooked. The final trick is get a teaspoon of corn starch in a cup, add 1/4 cup cold water (never hot) while stirring the pot and add to the vegetables. This will glaze the vegetables without having a lot of fat making them shiny and without a lot of salt.
Serve dinner with a chilled bottle of chardonnay.
After dinner, remove cheesecake from freezer and place in fridge to defrost. Exclaim that you'd forgotten about dessert and it will be a hour and a half before dessert is ready.
Break open a bottle of Shiraz or Zinfandel
Now this is the good bit. Offer to massage her shoulders and arms from behind her, start gently making little circles (not with your thumbs) with your fingers and palms. Start with the shoulders and work down arms, work back up to the scalp (be gentle with the scalp in small rotating circles). Run your thumbs either side of her spine with short strokes becoming longer.
Kiss her gently on the neck as she relaxes. (trust me golfers put a lot of strain and stretch on their shoulders, neck, arm and back).
Work down to her hands and fingers. Step around her, smile and begin working on the soles of her feet. This is where a little planning helps (using some lavender oil or witch hazel will make you a god and she will be butter in your fingers). Work up her ankles and calves.
You can work out your own way from here JD...
Here's a thought.
nvite her over for dinner.
For starters make up an anti-pasto platter (holler if you want me to explain how to make an anti-pasto). Break out a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc or Riesling.
For a main...
Take two boned chicken breasts. Marinate in the following - 3 Tablespoon of Soy Sauce, add two teaspoons of liquid honey, add some slices of fresh ginger (bash with the bottom of a drink can to release the juice before adding), a good sprinkling of pepper and a teaspoon of olive oil. Put aside for a couple of hours in the fridge.
Then roast in oven at 400 degrees F on a rack over a oven dish (put half a cup of water along with the marinade in the oven dish). Be sure to baste with the liquid in the oven dish. It should take about 3/4 hour to cook. Check by inserting a toothpick into the thickest part of the chicken, the liquid should be clear.
Peel some small new potatoes, cover with water in a pot and boil until cooked.
Grill some halved peppers (ke out the seeds) brushed with a little olive oil until they start to blister.
Take some vegetables (whatever you like), chop into irregular pieces about the size of your little finger to the second knuckle. Heat a frypan or wok with a little olive oil, add the washed and drained vegetables, and a teaspoon of soy and toss vigorosly over a high heat until crisp but cooked. The final trick is get a teaspoon of corn starch in a cup, add 1/4 cup cold water (never hot) while stirring the pot and add to the vegetables. This will glaze the vegetables without having a lot of fat making them shiny and without a lot of salt.
Serve dinner with a chilled bottle of chardonnay.
After dinner, remove cheesecake from freezer and place in fridge to defrost. Exclaim that you'd forgotten about dessert and it will be a hour and a half before dessert is ready.
Break open a bottle of Shiraz or Zinfandel
Now this is the good bit. Offer to massage her shoulders and arms from behind her, start gently making little circles (not with your thumbs) with your fingers and palms. Start with the shoulders and work down arms, work back up to the scalp (be gentle with the scalp in small rotating circles). Run your thumbs either side of her spine with short strokes becoming longer.
Kiss her gently on the neck as she relaxes. (trust me golfers put a lot of strain and stretch on their shoulders, neck, arm and back).
Work down to her hands and fingers. Step around her, smile and begin working on the soles of her feet. This is where a little planning helps (using some lavender oil or witch hazel will make you a god and she will be butter in your fingers). Work up her ankles and calves.
You can work out your own way from here JD...
ci5ic
11-15-2002, 11:05 PM
What he said!
That's what I'm talkin' about. It'd be much better to have a romantic dinner at home than to go out somewhere.
That's what I'm talkin' about. It'd be much better to have a romantic dinner at home than to go out somewhere.
Jimster
11-16-2002, 01:27 AM
I think that you should stay at your place if you can cook
Or take her out to a nice remote placeunder star and moonlight prepare a picnic..............Jst whatever you do, make it look like you have gone to a lot of trouble:)
Or take her out to a nice remote placeunder star and moonlight prepare a picnic..............Jst whatever you do, make it look like you have gone to a lot of trouble:)
I-Tech
11-16-2002, 05:11 AM
I think a dinner and a movie sounds like an excellent idea.. Like the others say: Don't buy her expensive stuff like jewelry when you've only been dating for 6 weeks.. Bad impression!!
Moppie
11-16-2002, 06:00 AM
Soft toy and flowers.
Dinner. (if you can find the kitchen make it yourself)
Movie (video or DVD if you find the kitchen)
Sex.
Could it be any fucken simpler? :rolleyes:
Dinner. (if you can find the kitchen make it yourself)
Movie (video or DVD if you find the kitchen)
Sex.
Could it be any fucken simpler? :rolleyes:
JD@af
11-16-2002, 12:42 PM
WOW!! So much good advice!!! Thank you all very much :D
I think the dinner deal is what it's going to be. Her 'rents are coming up today to take both of us out to dinner, so I think I'll include in my card that I owe her a nice dinner next weekend. Though her birthday is today, she and I are going to hit the driving range and see Harry Potter tomorrow.
I may try to cook for her, but I might also cop out (there are some fine restaurants in Hartford, and I am definitely not a talented cook). If I do say so myself, I make a pretty mean linguine with white clam sauce, and I like to combine that with a couple filet mignons lightly seasoned with ginger, soy sauce, and sesame oil. However, this is about the only dinner I cook, and I have already made it for her once :rolleyes:
I really like your multicourse suggestion above, rep :) Well thought out as usual, and perhaps I'll give it a shot!! Do you recommend making it once first as a trial run, or should I hope to make it reasonably well on my first crack at it?
ci5ic, thanks for your advice as well. Luckily for me, she is very down to earth, and even brought up this morning the predicament that I am in, fully realizing that my position is one of obligation, since we have been together such a short time and my field of potential gifts is quite limited as a result. But I think that this plan will make her happy.
Mops, Slacker... I don't know what I am going to do with you two jackasses!!! :silly2: :sun: (Though your advice for the spa is good, Kris, and I think I will use that on another occasion.)
I think the dinner deal is what it's going to be. Her 'rents are coming up today to take both of us out to dinner, so I think I'll include in my card that I owe her a nice dinner next weekend. Though her birthday is today, she and I are going to hit the driving range and see Harry Potter tomorrow.
I may try to cook for her, but I might also cop out (there are some fine restaurants in Hartford, and I am definitely not a talented cook). If I do say so myself, I make a pretty mean linguine with white clam sauce, and I like to combine that with a couple filet mignons lightly seasoned with ginger, soy sauce, and sesame oil. However, this is about the only dinner I cook, and I have already made it for her once :rolleyes:
I really like your multicourse suggestion above, rep :) Well thought out as usual, and perhaps I'll give it a shot!! Do you recommend making it once first as a trial run, or should I hope to make it reasonably well on my first crack at it?
ci5ic, thanks for your advice as well. Luckily for me, she is very down to earth, and even brought up this morning the predicament that I am in, fully realizing that my position is one of obligation, since we have been together such a short time and my field of potential gifts is quite limited as a result. But I think that this plan will make her happy.
Mops, Slacker... I don't know what I am going to do with you two jackasses!!! :silly2: :sun: (Though your advice for the spa is good, Kris, and I think I will use that on another occasion.)
kris
11-16-2002, 04:13 PM
Originally posted by JD@af
Mops, Slacker... I don't know what I am going to do with you two jackasses!!! :silly2: :sun: (Though your advice for the spa is good, Kris, and I think I will use that on another occasion.)
Hopefully you don't have a hangover for today? :D
This joker calls my house at 1am waking up my poor sleeping wife. :D She says you are now on her shit list!. lol, j/k. It's all good. :)
Hope you have a good time. Whatever you do, she will enjoy it.
Mops, Slacker... I don't know what I am going to do with you two jackasses!!! :silly2: :sun: (Though your advice for the spa is good, Kris, and I think I will use that on another occasion.)
Hopefully you don't have a hangover for today? :D
This joker calls my house at 1am waking up my poor sleeping wife. :D She says you are now on her shit list!. lol, j/k. It's all good. :)
Hope you have a good time. Whatever you do, she will enjoy it.
Moppie
11-16-2002, 08:09 PM
Originally posted by kris
This joker calls my house at 1am waking up my poor sleeping wife. :D She says you are now on her shit list!. lol, j/k. It's all good. :)
.
LOL!!! What is it with New Yorkers and ringing at odd hours of the morning! Iv had a call from Doc at 2am. Funnly enough he has never called me back. :finger:
And JD my advice might be simple. But it is tried and tested and proven to work. :smoker2:
This joker calls my house at 1am waking up my poor sleeping wife. :D She says you are now on her shit list!. lol, j/k. It's all good. :)
.
LOL!!! What is it with New Yorkers and ringing at odd hours of the morning! Iv had a call from Doc at 2am. Funnly enough he has never called me back. :finger:
And JD my advice might be simple. But it is tried and tested and proven to work. :smoker2:
replicant_008
11-17-2002, 12:29 AM
Dinner...
Well I'm not sure how you are at cooking but you could try the bits that you aren't confident with a trial run.
And here's a quick anti-pasto idea...
Small portions of salami, proscutti, pastrami, ham.
Smoked Chicken in bite sized pieces
Small selection of cheeses - brie, gouda, leicester, port salut, havarti, fetta (oh an about half of a Kraft Cream Cheese block - one of the small ones)
Some sun-dried tomatoes
Some smoked salmon pieces (as they are cheaper and bite sized)
Pita Bread - lightly toasted
Some focaccia - cut into thin strips
Some rice crackers
Some carrot strips, celery strips
Some tomato relish or chutney
Small dipping bowls of olive oil and hummus (and butter if you like butter)
(mix and match with whatever you like from the deli)
Arrange on a platter
Well I'm not sure how you are at cooking but you could try the bits that you aren't confident with a trial run.
And here's a quick anti-pasto idea...
Small portions of salami, proscutti, pastrami, ham.
Smoked Chicken in bite sized pieces
Small selection of cheeses - brie, gouda, leicester, port salut, havarti, fetta (oh an about half of a Kraft Cream Cheese block - one of the small ones)
Some sun-dried tomatoes
Some smoked salmon pieces (as they are cheaper and bite sized)
Pita Bread - lightly toasted
Some focaccia - cut into thin strips
Some rice crackers
Some carrot strips, celery strips
Some tomato relish or chutney
Small dipping bowls of olive oil and hummus (and butter if you like butter)
(mix and match with whatever you like from the deli)
Arrange on a platter
tazdev
11-17-2002, 12:39 AM
Garlic pita bread cut into smallish sections and pan fried till crispy = YUMMY
:frog:
:frog:
JD@af
11-17-2002, 12:49 AM
Originally posted by kris
Hopefully you don't have a hangover for today? :D
This joker calls my house at 1am waking up my poor sleeping wife. :D She says you are now on her shit list!. lol, j/k. It's all good. :)
Hope you have a good time. Whatever you do, she will enjoy it. ....was it really 1 am?
:right: Ehhhhh hangover my ass!! That was me at 2 beers an hour for 2½ hours. That was barely even a slap on ths wrist on the "drunk" scale. But I honestly do feel bad I woke her up :(
Thanks again for the advice peoples!
Hopefully you don't have a hangover for today? :D
This joker calls my house at 1am waking up my poor sleeping wife. :D She says you are now on her shit list!. lol, j/k. It's all good. :)
Hope you have a good time. Whatever you do, she will enjoy it. ....was it really 1 am?
:right: Ehhhhh hangover my ass!! That was me at 2 beers an hour for 2½ hours. That was barely even a slap on ths wrist on the "drunk" scale. But I honestly do feel bad I woke her up :(
Thanks again for the advice peoples!
tazdev
11-17-2002, 12:52 AM
judging by that it went well?
JD@af
11-17-2002, 12:36 PM
Originally posted by tazdev
judging by that it went well? Yeah, it went fine. I'm gong to do that dinner for her next weekend, when she and I are also going car shopping (see this is real cool for me - there's no way in hell I can afford a new car, but I get to live vicariously through her in helping her pick out a new one). I pushing her towards a WRX, an EVO VII (if its out yet?), or a new 240-hp V6 Accord :ylsuper She's got a '99 Jetta with a ton of miles, and not to rag on VW's too badly, but the thing needs constant maintenance and repair. So she's getting out of the European scene, either going Japanese or domestic.
By the way, nice new sig. KORN rules! I am listening to "Issues" right now :sun:
judging by that it went well? Yeah, it went fine. I'm gong to do that dinner for her next weekend, when she and I are also going car shopping (see this is real cool for me - there's no way in hell I can afford a new car, but I get to live vicariously through her in helping her pick out a new one). I pushing her towards a WRX, an EVO VII (if its out yet?), or a new 240-hp V6 Accord :ylsuper She's got a '99 Jetta with a ton of miles, and not to rag on VW's too badly, but the thing needs constant maintenance and repair. So she's getting out of the European scene, either going Japanese or domestic.
By the way, nice new sig. KORN rules! I am listening to "Issues" right now :sun:
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