remote reprogram proceedure a no-go on 04 odyssey

i've seen it all over here after doing a search but it's not working on my "new to me" 03 odyssey ex-L RES (yes 03, not 04 like it says above).

doors closed.
key to 2, press lock or unlock, key to 1.
do it again 2 more times.
on 4th turn after you hit lock or unlock, the locks should cycle indicating you're in program mode. then hit lock or unlock again on the remote and you're all set.

now i've also seen it with key cycle as 2, 0.
i've also seen it do it only 3 times.

but i've done both, done the cycle a million times, used the lock and unlock buttons, tried it with the driver door open, tried it with one of the rear door buttons. nothing is working.

it is the right remote, matches the picture in the manual and it is from honda. it also has a good battery because there is a red light at the top that lights when i push any button. it goes out after about .5 seconds which should be fine as it likely doesn't need to transmit as long as you're holding the button, only as long as it seems fit.

any help on this would be great. hate to go to the dealer.