LIGHTBULB jokes
tazdev
11-09-2002, 05:46 AM
Post your favorite lightbulb jokes here.
Here is my favorite.
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"Two, but how the fuck did they get in the lightbulb?"
Here is my favorite.
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"Two, but how the fuck did they get in the lightbulb?"
YogsVR4
11-09-2002, 01:25 PM
How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Non - Its a hardware issue.
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Non - Its a hardware issue.
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Amish_kid
11-09-2002, 02:11 PM
How man irish men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
screw it we'll drink in the dark
screw it we'll drink in the dark
tazdev
11-09-2002, 06:35 PM
Q: How many Members of Parliment does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding
committee to learn more about how it's done.
Q: How many presidential campaign staff does it need to change a light bulb?
A: 220! One to write a speech about how good it will be when the bulb is
actually changed, one to write a speech about why the other candidates
can't even spell "lightbulbe", eighteen to find out what the other
candidates did when the lightbulb failed, and another two hundred to find
out what the other candidate's families think about lightbulbs, bulbs,
pear-shaped objects, light in general, any form of energy.
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding
committee to learn more about how it's done.
Q: How many presidential campaign staff does it need to change a light bulb?
A: 220! One to write a speech about how good it will be when the bulb is
actually changed, one to write a speech about why the other candidates
can't even spell "lightbulbe", eighteen to find out what the other
candidates did when the lightbulb failed, and another two hundred to find
out what the other candidate's families think about lightbulbs, bulbs,
pear-shaped objects, light in general, any form of energy.
tazdev
11-09-2002, 07:20 PM
Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first.
A: Two - one to say "She'll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers.
A: 16. One to change the bulb and 15 to say "Good on yer, mate!"
Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I dunno exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretary's sister's next door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough light bulbs until one is found that isn't defective.
A: 250,000,000, one to change it and 249,999,999 to debate whether it it was politically correct.
A: One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first.
A: Two - one to say "She'll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers.
A: 16. One to change the bulb and 15 to say "Good on yer, mate!"
Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I dunno exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretary's sister's next door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough light bulbs until one is found that isn't defective.
A: 250,000,000, one to change it and 249,999,999 to debate whether it it was politically correct.
taranaki
11-09-2002, 07:31 PM
how many fundamentalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
electric light is a decadent Western sin,we'd rather stay in the dark.Besides,it's bright enough out there with all dem bombs goin' off....
electric light is a decadent Western sin,we'd rather stay in the dark.Besides,it's bright enough out there with all dem bombs goin' off....
michigan02
08-02-2003, 07:59 PM
How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb
--------------
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
53 to flame the spell checkers
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another
6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again
--------------
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
53 to flame the spell checkers
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another
6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again
endlesskev86
08-02-2003, 09:06 PM
How many StormTrooper does it take to change a light bulb??
three... one to change it, one to hold the ladder, and the other to shoot them both and take the credit!
three... one to change it, one to hold the ladder, and the other to shoot them both and take the credit!
grimmy
08-02-2003, 09:19 PM
how many afghanistani's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
whats a light bulb?
whats a light bulb?
TheNotoriousMogg
08-02-2003, 10:28 PM
Originally posted by Amish_kid
How man irish men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
screw it we'll drink in the dark
:spit: :werd:
How man irish men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
screw it we'll drink in the dark
:spit: :werd:
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