the guide to unsuccessful dating (we've all messed up once)
hybridsol
11-08-2002, 08:55 AM
Guide to Unsuccessful Dating
1. Go ahead and date one of your best friends. Don't worry,
you'll still be friends when it's over.
2. Ask a girl out on a Monday and give her a chance to change
her mind before the weekend.
3. Show up 45 minutes early so you have to wait around
uncomfortably and talk to her parents.
4. While you're chatting with her parents, make sure you swear
a little and tell her mom that she has great tits for a woman
her age.
5. If you go to see a movie, make sure it's one that she has
already seen and didn't like, so she'll be as bored as humanly
possible.
6. Take her to dinner. If she's a vegetarian, don't be afraid to
take her to "Steak and Ale". Make her pay the bill.
7. When you drive her home, ask her to hold the wheel while you
try to blow your nose (make sure it's a curvy road).
8. Purposely get lost looking for her house. Then say, "Well, all
these small houses look exactly the same!"
9. When your talking to her on the phone and the conversation
drifts into uncomfortable silence, let it keep going for as long
as possible. Time it, see if you can beat my 18 minute record.
10. Constantly hit on her best friend. Chances are good that this
will be the next person you end up dating.
1. Go ahead and date one of your best friends. Don't worry,
you'll still be friends when it's over.
2. Ask a girl out on a Monday and give her a chance to change
her mind before the weekend.
3. Show up 45 minutes early so you have to wait around
uncomfortably and talk to her parents.
4. While you're chatting with her parents, make sure you swear
a little and tell her mom that she has great tits for a woman
her age.
5. If you go to see a movie, make sure it's one that she has
already seen and didn't like, so she'll be as bored as humanly
possible.
6. Take her to dinner. If she's a vegetarian, don't be afraid to
take her to "Steak and Ale". Make her pay the bill.
7. When you drive her home, ask her to hold the wheel while you
try to blow your nose (make sure it's a curvy road).
8. Purposely get lost looking for her house. Then say, "Well, all
these small houses look exactly the same!"
9. When your talking to her on the phone and the conversation
drifts into uncomfortable silence, let it keep going for as long
as possible. Time it, see if you can beat my 18 minute record.
10. Constantly hit on her best friend. Chances are good that this
will be the next person you end up dating.
DVSNCYNIKL
11-08-2002, 09:28 AM
mmmkay!:D
Amish_kid
11-08-2002, 09:35 AM
Ahh ha i finally figured out what i was doin wrong all these years
hybridsol
11-08-2002, 09:45 AM
11. beware of number 4 some of the father's are larger than you and have military experience.:D
DVSNCYNIKL
11-08-2002, 09:54 AM
Originally posted by hybridsol
11. beware of number 4 some of the father's are larger than you and have military experience.:D
Although I didn't say she had big tits. I dated a daughter once of a military father. He was 6'8", 325lbs, black, and wore his dark glasses in the house. Needless to say, his daughter was home by 10pm sharp and not a minute after.:eek: :D :D
11. beware of number 4 some of the father's are larger than you and have military experience.:D
Although I didn't say she had big tits. I dated a daughter once of a military father. He was 6'8", 325lbs, black, and wore his dark glasses in the house. Needless to say, his daughter was home by 10pm sharp and not a minute after.:eek: :D :D
hybridsol
11-08-2002, 10:11 AM
Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
Although I didn't say she had big tits. I dated a daughter once of a military father. He was 6'8", 325lbs, black, and wore his dark glasses in the house. Needless to say, his daughter was home by 10pm sharp and not a minute after.:eek: :D :D
I know what you mean, I dated a high ranking officer's daughter.....needless to say I was fearful of him having me killed in my sleep. :eek:
Although I didn't say she had big tits. I dated a daughter once of a military father. He was 6'8", 325lbs, black, and wore his dark glasses in the house. Needless to say, his daughter was home by 10pm sharp and not a minute after.:eek: :D :D
I know what you mean, I dated a high ranking officer's daughter.....needless to say I was fearful of him having me killed in my sleep. :eek:
Rich
11-08-2002, 10:37 AM
I am guilty of 1,5 and 9. :(
hybridsol
11-08-2002, 10:45 AM
Originally posted by HuMMerMan
I am guilty of 1,5 and 9. :(
whats your time record on number 9?
I am guilty of 1,5 and 9. :(
whats your time record on number 9?
Rich
11-08-2002, 11:21 AM
Originally posted by hybridsol
whats your time record on number 9?
It was only like 10min, but it seemed like forever.
These facts explain why I am single :D
whats your time record on number 9?
It was only like 10min, but it seemed like forever.
These facts explain why I am single :D
speediva
11-08-2002, 11:22 AM
I've actually (after like a year) gotten my friendship back after an eventful "1".
hybridsol
11-08-2002, 11:36 AM
Originally posted by HuMMerMan
It was only like 10min, but it seemed like forever.
These facts explain why I am single :D call her up and see if you can hold out for longer...:D
Note: #10 the best friend thing only works if she's a backstabber.....
It was only like 10min, but it seemed like forever.
These facts explain why I am single :D call her up and see if you can hold out for longer...:D
Note: #10 the best friend thing only works if she's a backstabber.....
primera man
11-08-2002, 11:44 AM
hybridsol
11-08-2002, 11:46 AM
Originally posted by primera man
http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/wave.gif 1,4,5 and 10 http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/ylsuper.gif http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/ylsuper.gif .....been there :D :D
p-man you pulled a 4? thats badass. :D
http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/wave.gif 1,4,5 and 10 http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/ylsuper.gif http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/ylsuper.gif .....been there :D :D
p-man you pulled a 4? thats badass. :D
higgimonster
11-08-2002, 11:54 AM
9. When your talking to her on the phone and the conversation
drifts into uncomfortable silence, let it keep going for as long
as possible. Time it, see if you can beat my 18 minute record.
Beat the record by at least 12min. However she was watching some show on the weather channel and completely not hearing me when I would occasionally ask her something. Needless to say I was really pissed off and eventually hung up on her.
drifts into uncomfortable silence, let it keep going for as long
as possible. Time it, see if you can beat my 18 minute record.
Beat the record by at least 12min. However she was watching some show on the weather channel and completely not hearing me when I would occasionally ask her something. Needless to say I was really pissed off and eventually hung up on her.
hybridsol
11-08-2002, 11:57 AM
Originally posted by higgimonster
Beat the record by at least 12min. However she was watching some show on the weather channel and completely not hearing me when I would occasionally ask her something. Needless to say I was really pissed off and eventually hung up on her.
:eek: 12 min thats amazing! (bows down)
Beat the record by at least 12min. However she was watching some show on the weather channel and completely not hearing me when I would occasionally ask her something. Needless to say I was really pissed off and eventually hung up on her.
:eek: 12 min thats amazing! (bows down)
YellowMaranello
11-08-2002, 12:31 PM
Originally posted by hybridsol
9. When your talking to her on the phone and the conversation
drifts into uncomfortable silence, let it keep going for as long
as possible. Time it, see if you can beat my 18 minute record.
Does sleeping count? I've fallen asleep on the phone only to be woken up a half hour later by her pushing buttons.
9. When your talking to her on the phone and the conversation
drifts into uncomfortable silence, let it keep going for as long
as possible. Time it, see if you can beat my 18 minute record.
Does sleeping count? I've fallen asleep on the phone only to be woken up a half hour later by her pushing buttons.
hybridsol
11-08-2002, 07:42 PM
Originally posted by YellowMaranello
Does sleeping count? I've fallen asleep on the phone only to be woken up a half hour later by her pushing buttons.
I guess that counts you maintanied silence like no snoring right?
Does sleeping count? I've fallen asleep on the phone only to be woken up a half hour later by her pushing buttons.
I guess that counts you maintanied silence like no snoring right?
tazdev
11-08-2002, 07:44 PM
I'm guilty of NONE of those:(
hybridsol
11-08-2002, 07:46 PM
Originally posted by tazdev
I'm guilty of NONE of those:(
taz thats a good thing man.... mean you didint screw up like the rest of us:D
I'm guilty of NONE of those:(
taz thats a good thing man.... mean you didint screw up like the rest of us:D
YellowMaranello
11-08-2002, 10:40 PM
Originally posted by hybridsol
I guess that counts you maintanied silence like no snoring right?
Beats me, I was asleep.:rolleyes:
I guess that counts you maintanied silence like no snoring right?
Beats me, I was asleep.:rolleyes:
tazdev
11-09-2002, 05:32 AM
Originally posted by hybridsol
taz thats a good thing man.... mean you didint screw up like the rest of us:D
never had the chance to screw up. Thats why theres the :( "smilie"
taz thats a good thing man.... mean you didint screw up like the rest of us:D
never had the chance to screw up. Thats why theres the :( "smilie"
hybridsol
11-09-2002, 05:44 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
never had the chance to screw up. Thats why theres the :( "smilie"
......(now I understand the avatar)........cmon man......you own a skyline that alone should help you out. Its still a good thing, now you can learn from the mistakes of other's :D
never had the chance to screw up. Thats why theres the :( "smilie"
......(now I understand the avatar)........cmon man......you own a skyline that alone should help you out. Its still a good thing, now you can learn from the mistakes of other's :D
hybridsol
11-09-2002, 05:45 AM
Originally posted by YellowMaranello
Beats me, I was asleep.:rolleyes:
well I guess you hold record then.....
Beats me, I was asleep.:rolleyes:
well I guess you hold record then.....
Neutrino
11-09-2002, 05:49 AM
Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
Needless to say, his daughter was home by 10pm sharp and not a minute after.:eek: :D :D
I do belive thats 2200 hours for you soldier.:angryfire
Needless to say, his daughter was home by 10pm sharp and not a minute after.:eek: :D :D
I do belive thats 2200 hours for you soldier.:angryfire
tazdev
11-09-2002, 05:50 AM
Originally posted by hybridsol
......you own a skyline that alone should help you out.
Around these parts Skylines are as common as something thats really really common. And as far as R32 Skylines go mine rates at second to last on the list of fast cars:(
I know cos I got dragged off at the lights by a prelude:( I had him in first and second but he ate me in third. Time to upgrade me thinks;)
......you own a skyline that alone should help you out.
Around these parts Skylines are as common as something thats really really common. And as far as R32 Skylines go mine rates at second to last on the list of fast cars:(
I know cos I got dragged off at the lights by a prelude:( I had him in first and second but he ate me in third. Time to upgrade me thinks;)
Moppie
11-09-2002, 06:09 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
I know cos I got dragged off at the lights by a prelude
Depending on the model of Prelude that isn't as bad as it sounds.
Even a late 80s Si is a fairly fast car, and any of the H22 VTEC ludes will be a lot faster than your car. You need a GTs-t before you go hunting those.
And I have never committed any of the Dating mistakes, despite being on a few dates. Iv made mistakes of course, just none of the ones listed. :D
I know cos I got dragged off at the lights by a prelude
Depending on the model of Prelude that isn't as bad as it sounds.
Even a late 80s Si is a fairly fast car, and any of the H22 VTEC ludes will be a lot faster than your car. You need a GTs-t before you go hunting those.
And I have never committed any of the Dating mistakes, despite being on a few dates. Iv made mistakes of course, just none of the ones listed. :D
hybridsol
11-09-2002, 06:11 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
Around these parts Skylines are as common as something thats really really common. And as far as R32 Skylines go mine rates at second to last on the list of fast cars:(
I know cos I got dragged off at the lights by a prelude:( I had him in first and second but he ate me in third. Time to upgrade me thinks;)
come visit we'll drive down the street in your car and girls will throw themselves on the winshield:D (plus then I get to ride in a skyline) (and so will like 5????? how many hot chicks do you think we can fit in your trunk?)
Around these parts Skylines are as common as something thats really really common. And as far as R32 Skylines go mine rates at second to last on the list of fast cars:(
I know cos I got dragged off at the lights by a prelude:( I had him in first and second but he ate me in third. Time to upgrade me thinks;)
come visit we'll drive down the street in your car and girls will throw themselves on the winshield:D (plus then I get to ride in a skyline) (and so will like 5????? how many hot chicks do you think we can fit in your trunk?)
tazdev
11-09-2002, 06:26 PM
Originally posted by hybridsol
how many hot chicks do you think we can fit in your trunk?)
1 Unless I take the sub box out then about 2 or 3:D
how many hot chicks do you think we can fit in your trunk?)
1 Unless I take the sub box out then about 2 or 3:D
hybridsol
11-11-2002, 12:08 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
1 Unless I take the sub box out then about 2 or 3:D
.....sounds like a plan!:D
1 Unless I take the sub box out then about 2 or 3:D
.....sounds like a plan!:D
tazdev
11-11-2002, 12:10 AM
:devil: :devil: :devil:
replicant_008
11-12-2002, 04:10 AM
12. Never commit flat incest - no matter how enticing and attractive it seems to be.
13. Never reveal you have gone to the ski-hill with a pile of friends (male and female) to your girl of the moment when you were supposed to be having a romantic weekend @ home
14. Don't try to explain why you were late turning up to pick her up in the morning for a picnic after spending the night @ a bachelor party that you'd promised her you wouldn't go to.
15. Don't reveal that you ended up getting a lap dance at the behest of the groom @ the party mentioned in 14
16. Don't throw up from drinking too much beer out the side of the cab on the way home from the first date
17. Don't scream in horror when she reveals that she a) has a husband, b) that she has a child c) has told you about about a and b until you've been playing hide the sausage for 6 weeks and worse d) she reveals she hasn't been taking the pill recently.
13. Never reveal you have gone to the ski-hill with a pile of friends (male and female) to your girl of the moment when you were supposed to be having a romantic weekend @ home
14. Don't try to explain why you were late turning up to pick her up in the morning for a picnic after spending the night @ a bachelor party that you'd promised her you wouldn't go to.
15. Don't reveal that you ended up getting a lap dance at the behest of the groom @ the party mentioned in 14
16. Don't throw up from drinking too much beer out the side of the cab on the way home from the first date
17. Don't scream in horror when she reveals that she a) has a husband, b) that she has a child c) has told you about about a and b until you've been playing hide the sausage for 6 weeks and worse d) she reveals she hasn't been taking the pill recently.
hybridsol
11-12-2002, 05:05 AM
Originally posted by replicant_008
12. Never commit flat incest - no matter how enticing and attractive it seems to be.
13. Never reveal you have gone to the ski-hill with a pile of friends (male and female) to your girl of the moment when you were supposed to be having a romantic weekend @ home
14. Don't try to explain why you were late turning up to pick her up in the morning for a picnic after spending the night @ a bachelor party that you'd promised her you wouldn't go to.
15. Don't reveal that you ended up getting a lap dance at the behest of the groom @ the party mentioned in 14
16. Don't throw up from drinking too much beer out the side of the cab on the way home from the first date
17. Don't scream in horror when she reveals that she a) has a husband, b) that she has a child c) has told you about about a and b until you've been playing hide the sausage for 6 weeks and worse d) she reveals she hasn't been taking the pill recently.
replicant....you sound like you've had experience in these area's???? J/P
(good add on man, keep em coming ppl!)
12. Never commit flat incest - no matter how enticing and attractive it seems to be.
13. Never reveal you have gone to the ski-hill with a pile of friends (male and female) to your girl of the moment when you were supposed to be having a romantic weekend @ home
14. Don't try to explain why you were late turning up to pick her up in the morning for a picnic after spending the night @ a bachelor party that you'd promised her you wouldn't go to.
15. Don't reveal that you ended up getting a lap dance at the behest of the groom @ the party mentioned in 14
16. Don't throw up from drinking too much beer out the side of the cab on the way home from the first date
17. Don't scream in horror when she reveals that she a) has a husband, b) that she has a child c) has told you about about a and b until you've been playing hide the sausage for 6 weeks and worse d) she reveals she hasn't been taking the pill recently.
replicant....you sound like you've had experience in these area's???? J/P
(good add on man, keep em coming ppl!)
Moppie
11-12-2002, 05:41 AM
Originally posted by replicant_008
17. Don't scream in horror when she reveals that she a) has a husband, b) that she has a child c) has told you about about a and b until you've been playing hide the sausage for 6 weeks and worse d) she reveals she hasn't been taking the pill recently.
LOL!
The above is a good reason to date younger women.
They are less likely to spring such surpises on you!
17. Don't scream in horror when she reveals that she a) has a husband, b) that she has a child c) has told you about about a and b until you've been playing hide the sausage for 6 weeks and worse d) she reveals she hasn't been taking the pill recently.
LOL!
The above is a good reason to date younger women.
They are less likely to spring such surpises on you!
replicant_008
11-13-2002, 12:07 AM
ahhhh Moppie - she was younger... remember you can get married in NZ @ 16 years and so is the age of consent. But I do know of mothers who became grandmothers before they were 30.
In fact there a lot of women I have met who had kids in their teens. Which is a scary proposition for someone like me who can't believe that they wanted to take such a responsibility so young (in fact some of them didn't as they say things happen sometimes)...
In fact there a lot of women I have met who had kids in their teens. Which is a scary proposition for someone like me who can't believe that they wanted to take such a responsibility so young (in fact some of them didn't as they say things happen sometimes)...
speediva
11-13-2002, 01:04 AM
I can think of 2 women off the top of my head who were grandmothers either before, or shortly after 40.
Just something I felt like adding.
Just something I felt like adding.
boingo82
11-13-2002, 02:41 AM
When I lived in the armpit of Colorado, we had a 19 yr old renter with 4 children. The oldest was 5.
We had another renter (same house, different time) who had been given a Pantera for her 16th b-day and had totaled it a week later. She had a different boyfriend every day, but they were all named "Mark". She had her first child at 16, and her rich-ass parents were paying her rent just so they wouldn't have to deal with her. If anyone here ever has rentals, NEVER rent to someone like that.
We had another renter (same house, different time) who had been given a Pantera for her 16th b-day and had totaled it a week later. She had a different boyfriend every day, but they were all named "Mark". She had her first child at 16, and her rich-ass parents were paying her rent just so they wouldn't have to deal with her. If anyone here ever has rentals, NEVER rent to someone like that.
Moppie
11-13-2002, 06:59 AM
Sounds like you have been dating the wrong class of women Rep. :(
(not that NZ is a particulary classist society, its just that the education level of a femal is often inversly proportionate to the number of children she has, and the age she has them)
(not that NZ is a particulary classist society, its just that the education level of a femal is often inversly proportionate to the number of children she has, and the age she has them)
replicant_008
11-13-2002, 05:43 PM
You'd be surprised Moppie - there are a lot of independent university educated women with a child and with professional jobs. And the lady was actually a real estate agent in the Eastern Suburbs...
Moppie
11-14-2002, 01:21 AM
Originally posted by replicant_008
You'd be surprised Moppie -
Oh Iv meet more than a few of them I assure you.
However take a note of the general NZ population, and they suddenly make up a very very small %.
You'd be surprised Moppie -
Oh Iv meet more than a few of them I assure you.
However take a note of the general NZ population, and they suddenly make up a very very small %.
taranaki
11-14-2002, 02:37 AM
Originally posted by replicant_008
12. Never commit flat incest - no matter how enticing and attractive it seems to be.
Amen to that,brother...pity nobody told me 16 years ago.:(
12. Never commit flat incest - no matter how enticing and attractive it seems to be.
Amen to that,brother...pity nobody told me 16 years ago.:(
tazdev
11-14-2002, 03:31 AM
I will keep all these rules in mind as they may come in useful.
heres 1 I learnt from PMAN.
18. NEVER forget an anniversary. Especially if you go off on a blokes weekend up north looking at cars:bloated:
heres 1 I learnt from PMAN.
18. NEVER forget an anniversary. Especially if you go off on a blokes weekend up north looking at cars:bloated:
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