The Irish are at war!!!
ragt20
11-06-2002, 05:36 PM
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's
farm tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden
change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
:rolleyes:
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's
farm tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden
change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
:rolleyes:
YogsVR4
11-06-2002, 09:17 PM
What can I say - I thought it was pretty funny :)
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"Pandamonium"
11-07-2002, 02:39 AM
The Panda is amused!!!
:hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe:
:hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe:
primera man
11-07-2002, 03:01 AM
Bloody Irish :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ...lol
DVSNCYNIKL
11-07-2002, 06:49 AM
:bloated:
JD@af
11-07-2002, 07:45 AM
Originally posted by primera man
Bloody Irish :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ...lol HEH :silly2: Agreed!! :right:
Good shit, Rags!!
Bloody Irish :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ...lol HEH :silly2: Agreed!! :right:
Good shit, Rags!!
Pennzoil GT-R
11-07-2002, 06:16 PM
Originally posted by primera man
Bloody Irish :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ...lol
ahem :the irish blood in me is not amused:
j/k, theyre always bloody fighting someone anyway!! and thats quite funny
Bloody Irish :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ...lol
ahem :the irish blood in me is not amused:
j/k, theyre always bloody fighting someone anyway!! and thats quite funny
speediva
11-07-2002, 08:14 PM
Oh, now you've gone and pissed off 1/4 of tangie... :p
Entertaining. The other 3/4 of tangie enjoyed it. ;)
Entertaining. The other 3/4 of tangie enjoyed it. ;)
tazdev
11-07-2002, 08:54 PM
ROFL
thats a goody:p
thats a goody:p
ci5ic
11-07-2002, 09:32 PM
Just back up off the Irish folks! hehehe
My favorite Irish joke:
How many irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fifteen. One to hold the lightbulb, and 14 to drink until the room spins.
My favorite Irish joke:
How many irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fifteen. One to hold the lightbulb, and 14 to drink until the room spins.
Dustin_S
11-07-2002, 11:23 PM
15 to drink until the room spins? what if the light fixture isn't dead center in the room? then we've got problems.
Who next, Switzerland?
Who next, Switzerland?
Neutrino
11-08-2002, 01:49 AM
Originally posted by saturntangerine
Oh, now you've gone and pissed off 1/4 of tangie... :p
Entertaining. The other 3/4 of tangie enjoyed it. ;)
'
So you are a 1/4 irish and 3/4 iraqi?;)
Oh, now you've gone and pissed off 1/4 of tangie... :p
Entertaining. The other 3/4 of tangie enjoyed it. ;)
'
So you are a 1/4 irish and 3/4 iraqi?;)
speediva
11-08-2002, 09:18 AM
Originally posted by Neutrino
'
So you are a 1/4 irish and 3/4 iraqi?;)
No, but my 1/2 Russian and 1/4 "Heinz 57" did enjoy the joke :right:
'
So you are a 1/4 irish and 3/4 iraqi?;)
No, but my 1/2 Russian and 1/4 "Heinz 57" did enjoy the joke :right:
taranaki
11-09-2002, 04:04 AM
Gotta laugh at the Irish.........They haven't a clue what they want,but they'll fight like hell for it anyway......:p
Moppie
11-09-2002, 05:43 AM
LOL!
But I think the IRA could teach Saddam a thing or two about killing people.
But I think the IRA could teach Saddam a thing or two about killing people.
tazdev
11-09-2002, 05:52 AM
Originally posted by Moppie
LOL!
But I think the IRA could teach Saddam a thing or two about killing people.
yup no one does things quite like the Irish
LOL!
But I think the IRA could teach Saddam a thing or two about killing people.
yup no one does things quite like the Irish
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