Acceptible Age Differences?
Rich
10-30-2002, 01:37 PM
This isnt really a philosophical (sp?) debate, but it doesnt really fit in COT either.
Me and a friend were talking a few nights ago about what the acceptible difference in age between 2 ppl for dating should be. And it seems to vary. For instance, my friend who just turned 21, is dating a girl who just turned 18. This is the max distance that I would condone, on the other hand, my own parents are 4 yrs apart, [My mom is actually older than my dad] and that seemed to work out fine.
Its also rare to find a relationship where the female is older than the male. Even finding a relationship where both members are the same age is rare.
Anyone care to comment?
Me and a friend were talking a few nights ago about what the acceptible difference in age between 2 ppl for dating should be. And it seems to vary. For instance, my friend who just turned 21, is dating a girl who just turned 18. This is the max distance that I would condone, on the other hand, my own parents are 4 yrs apart, [My mom is actually older than my dad] and that seemed to work out fine.
Its also rare to find a relationship where the female is older than the male. Even finding a relationship where both members are the same age is rare.
Anyone care to comment?
higgimonster
10-30-2002, 01:47 PM
Here are my general rules:
if you are over 18 and 21 or less then only 18 or older
if you are 18 then 17 is the lowest acceptable.
if you are over 21 and less then 25 then 20 is youngest
after 25, 21 is youngest (and that sticks until death)
It seems that once people get into the work place they begin to meet people who are exactly their age, where in school you tewnd to be with people your age.
And women tend to find older men more attractive. (Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford)
if you are over 18 and 21 or less then only 18 or older
if you are 18 then 17 is the lowest acceptable.
if you are over 21 and less then 25 then 20 is youngest
after 25, 21 is youngest (and that sticks until death)
It seems that once people get into the work place they begin to meet people who are exactly their age, where in school you tewnd to be with people your age.
And women tend to find older men more attractive. (Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford)
YogsVR4
10-30-2002, 02:23 PM
Its all a matter of ratios.
Three year gap.
Age %
18 17
21 14
30 10
40 7
Normally you dont want to get to far away (as a percentage) from the person you're with. You're more likely to have more in common with someone who is closer to your age as a percentage then in whole numbers. So the gap of actual years widens as you get older for the same percentage.
Three year gap.
Age %
18 17
21 14
30 10
40 7
Normally you dont want to get to far away (as a percentage) from the person you're with. You're more likely to have more in common with someone who is closer to your age as a percentage then in whole numbers. So the gap of actual years widens as you get older for the same percentage.
taranaki
10-30-2002, 04:49 PM
Any age difference can be overcome,provided that both parties are sympathetic to the differencesin lifestyle that may occur...Age differences between younger people can present sever obstacles in the way of lifestyle differences,life experience,maturity,and social gatherings....simple example...in New Zealand,if you are 18 and she is 16,you'd have to accept that you wouldn't be able to take her to a bar with you.Differences in education status also matter a lot...high school students datingfull-time employees can be a major source of friction.....it's surprising how quickly situations change as you pass through young adulthood.
Of course,when you reach my age,five or six years' difference is still a big gap,but there are not so many of life's experiences that you don't have in common.Statiscally of course,women tend to outlive men,so to make the most of a permanent relationship,I suppose that women should choose a younger partner...too bad that most 'older' me hit the mid life crisis.....
Of course,when you reach my age,five or six years' difference is still a big gap,but there are not so many of life's experiences that you don't have in common.Statiscally of course,women tend to outlive men,so to make the most of a permanent relationship,I suppose that women should choose a younger partner...too bad that most 'older' me hit the mid life crisis.....
Oz
10-31-2002, 01:54 AM
<20 2 years - 3 if exceptional circumstances
>20 3-5 years is acceptable.
For these rules, both people concerned must be in same category.
>20 3-5 years is acceptable.
For these rules, both people concerned must be in same category.
tazdev
10-31-2002, 02:28 AM
I disagree with the majority of you.
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
Ssom
10-31-2002, 03:49 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
I disagree with the majority of you.
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
agreed :cool:
I disagree with the majority of you.
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
agreed :cool:
YogsVR4
10-31-2002, 11:41 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
I disagree with the majority of you.
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
I stated why I feel I need an acceptable age limit. For someone else, they can do what they want. I wont stop them, however I can laugh at the shit like Anna Nichole Smith.
I disagree with the majority of you.
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
I stated why I feel I need an acceptable age limit. For someone else, they can do what they want. I wont stop them, however I can laugh at the shit like Anna Nichole Smith.
speediva
10-31-2002, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by tazdev
I disagree with the majority of you.
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
I'm with Taz. If two responsible adults care for eachother, then who cares about age??? Sure, it may be an abnormal ideal, but what is normal anyway??? Heck, just 100 years ago I'd be barefoot and pregnant with my 5th kid by now. :o
I disagree with the majority of you.
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
I'm with Taz. If two responsible adults care for eachother, then who cares about age??? Sure, it may be an abnormal ideal, but what is normal anyway??? Heck, just 100 years ago I'd be barefoot and pregnant with my 5th kid by now. :o
slikk
10-31-2002, 02:24 PM
all u got to do is plug your age into the acceptable age formula...
Acceptable age = (myage/2)+7
Acceptable age = (myage/2)+7
YogsVR4
10-31-2002, 02:56 PM
Originally posted by saturntangerine
I'm with Taz. If two responsible adults care for eachother, then who cares about age??? Sure, it may be an abnormal ideal, but what is normal anyway??? Heck, just 100 years ago I'd be barefoot and pregnant with my 5th kid by now. :o
You're the third person to say who cares. I care. I dont want to date (forget that I'm married now) someone who is ten years younger then me for some reasons I listed before.
Nobody is saying you cant if you want.
I'm with Taz. If two responsible adults care for eachother, then who cares about age??? Sure, it may be an abnormal ideal, but what is normal anyway??? Heck, just 100 years ago I'd be barefoot and pregnant with my 5th kid by now. :o
You're the third person to say who cares. I care. I dont want to date (forget that I'm married now) someone who is ten years younger then me for some reasons I listed before.
Nobody is saying you cant if you want.
JD@af
10-31-2002, 09:37 PM
Originally posted by slikk
all u got to do is plug your age into the acceptable age formula...
Acceptable age = (myage/2)+7 I generally agree with slikk. I like this equation, and find it to serve as a good rule of thumb. However, there are relationships that defy this "rule," and function healthily. The bottom line is that two committed people who care about each other will make a relationship work, period :)
all u got to do is plug your age into the acceptable age formula...
Acceptable age = (myage/2)+7 I generally agree with slikk. I like this equation, and find it to serve as a good rule of thumb. However, there are relationships that defy this "rule," and function healthily. The bottom line is that two committed people who care about each other will make a relationship work, period :)
Jimster
11-01-2002, 02:16 AM
I'm 26 my wife celebrated her 22nd birthday on Tuesday- Many people at work made dimwit comments like aw bro your a palya :rolleyes: Not the case I met the woman that is right for me and at teh end of the day age is just a number :)
SentraGirl
11-04-2002, 01:29 PM
Originally posted by tazdev
I disagree with the majority of you.
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
Well said Taz, I totally agree with you. I use to believe that the guy always had to be older than the girl and that you shouldn't be more than 5 years apart but not anymore. I'm going out with a guy that's two years younger than I am and at my age, that's a lot. I'm 19 and he's 17. Of course, he lied to me about his age so I thought he was older but when I found out his real age, I was already madly in love and the only thing that mattered was he lied but that's a whole other post:finger: Anyways, love is love and it shouldn't have any boundaries.:)
I disagree with the majority of you.
If the two people involved care for each other then why should there be an "acceptable" age limit (as long as they are both "of age" that is)
Well said Taz, I totally agree with you. I use to believe that the guy always had to be older than the girl and that you shouldn't be more than 5 years apart but not anymore. I'm going out with a guy that's two years younger than I am and at my age, that's a lot. I'm 19 and he's 17. Of course, he lied to me about his age so I thought he was older but when I found out his real age, I was already madly in love and the only thing that mattered was he lied but that's a whole other post:finger: Anyways, love is love and it shouldn't have any boundaries.:)
speediva
11-04-2002, 02:35 PM
Originally posted by SentraGirl
I'm 19 and he's 17. <snip> Anyways, love is love and it shouldn't have any boundaries.:)
Glad to see I'm not the only girl who has dated a younger guy. Granted, he lied to me also, which actually put me as slightly... well... nevermind that. But anyhoo, I was 18 and he turned 16 while we were dating. It worked for a short while, but like you said... another post. ;)
I'm 19 and he's 17. <snip> Anyways, love is love and it shouldn't have any boundaries.:)
Glad to see I'm not the only girl who has dated a younger guy. Granted, he lied to me also, which actually put me as slightly... well... nevermind that. But anyhoo, I was 18 and he turned 16 while we were dating. It worked for a short while, but like you said... another post. ;)
carnut
11-05-2002, 12:41 AM
I'm assuming you're probably around the same age as your 21 year old friend. Assuming the 18 year old girl is out of high school, that would be cool, if not, at least wait till she's out of high school. High school kids can be really mean and give her a label that will follow her through life.
As you get older, age differences don't mean much. My ex-wife is 3 years younger. One of the women I date is 1 1/2 years older and the other is 9 years younger! At my age, (older) age is just a number, although the younger one is soooooooooo much fun!
Carry on!
As you get older, age differences don't mean much. My ex-wife is 3 years younger. One of the women I date is 1 1/2 years older and the other is 9 years younger! At my age, (older) age is just a number, although the younger one is soooooooooo much fun!
Carry on!
Rich
11-05-2002, 07:53 AM
I just wanted to add that for those females that posted that they are or have dated a younger guy, this is very rare. Im not putting you down or anything, but in my observations, this is VERY rare. I do not know of any relationship(s) where the guy is younger than the girl. Usuially if the guy is younger than the girl, she wont even look in his direction, and for this reason, guys usuially seek out women that are slightly younger than themselves.
This is just what I have seen here, could be different other places because of lifestyle differences,etc.
This is just what I have seen here, could be different other places because of lifestyle differences,etc.
SentraGirl
11-05-2002, 08:39 AM
Originally posted by HuMMerMan
I just wanted to add that for those females that posted that they are or have dated a younger guy, this is very rare. Im not putting you down or anything, but in my observations, this is VERY rare. .
No, that is the norm here too but it just didn't happen that way for me. I had never dated a guy even a month younger until I met my current boyfriend and he lied to me about his age so I didn't question it. I met him when I was seventeen and was about to turn sixteen but I thought he was already sixteen turning seventeen so I didn't think twice. When I found out, I was already in too deep. I didn't find out for like two months and by that time he had already woven me in his web. We're still together and it's been two years but the age difference is becoming more evident. Oh well, sorry for sharing so much.:rolleyes:
I just wanted to add that for those females that posted that they are or have dated a younger guy, this is very rare. Im not putting you down or anything, but in my observations, this is VERY rare. .
No, that is the norm here too but it just didn't happen that way for me. I had never dated a guy even a month younger until I met my current boyfriend and he lied to me about his age so I didn't question it. I met him when I was seventeen and was about to turn sixteen but I thought he was already sixteen turning seventeen so I didn't think twice. When I found out, I was already in too deep. I didn't find out for like two months and by that time he had already woven me in his web. We're still together and it's been two years but the age difference is becoming more evident. Oh well, sorry for sharing so much.:rolleyes:
SkunkSI
11-05-2002, 08:52 AM
as soon as they hit college it dosent matter how old they or you are b/c its college, and its time for them to break up with there boyfriends back home and become pass arounds.:D
SentraGirl
11-05-2002, 08:54 AM
Originally posted by SkunkSI
as soon as they hit college it dosent matter how old they or you are b/c its college, and its time for them to break up with there boyfriends back home and become pass arounds.:D
That was just wrong, I'm in college but I'm a loyal girlfriend and I'm innocent:finger: :devil:
as soon as they hit college it dosent matter how old they or you are b/c its college, and its time for them to break up with there boyfriends back home and become pass arounds.:D
That was just wrong, I'm in college but I'm a loyal girlfriend and I'm innocent:finger: :devil:
hybridsol
11-05-2002, 08:59 AM
Originally posted by SentraGirl
That was just wrong, I'm in college but I'm a loyal girlfriend and I'm innocent:finger: :devil:
I hate to say it (b/c I'm shure your the exception) but he's got a point, I've seen so many respectable women turn bad, As soon as they hit college.
PS: SkunkSI - if your one of those guys who turns the girls..........you are the weakest link.
That was just wrong, I'm in college but I'm a loyal girlfriend and I'm innocent:finger: :devil:
I hate to say it (b/c I'm shure your the exception) but he's got a point, I've seen so many respectable women turn bad, As soon as they hit college.
PS: SkunkSI - if your one of those guys who turns the girls..........you are the weakest link.
SentraGirl
11-05-2002, 09:17 AM
Originally posted by hybridsol
I hate to say it (b/c I'm shure your the exception) but he's got a point, I've seen so many respectable women turn bad, As soon as they hit college.
Thank you Hybrid and I am an exception but not all do. I still know a lot of girls who have kept their high school boyfriends and are away at college. I do understand your point though! But SkunkSI wouldn't be the weakest link, the women who turn bad are!:D
I hate to say it (b/c I'm shure your the exception) but he's got a point, I've seen so many respectable women turn bad, As soon as they hit college.
Thank you Hybrid and I am an exception but not all do. I still know a lot of girls who have kept their high school boyfriends and are away at college. I do understand your point though! But SkunkSI wouldn't be the weakest link, the women who turn bad are!:D
hybridsol
11-05-2002, 09:49 AM
Originally posted by SentraGirl
Thank you Hybrid and I am an exception but not all do. I still know a lot of girls who have kept their high school boyfriends and are away at college. I do understand your point though! But SkunkSI wouldn't be the weakest link, the women who turn bad are!:D
No problem sentra, I'm glad to hear that. So many girls I know have went the other way and it saddens me.:( But talking to someone like you I know the faithfull ones are still out there.:D
Thank you Hybrid and I am an exception but not all do. I still know a lot of girls who have kept their high school boyfriends and are away at college. I do understand your point though! But SkunkSI wouldn't be the weakest link, the women who turn bad are!:D
No problem sentra, I'm glad to hear that. So many girls I know have went the other way and it saddens me.:( But talking to someone like you I know the faithfull ones are still out there.:D
SentraGirl
11-05-2002, 10:19 AM
Originally posted by hybridsol
No problem sentra, I'm glad to hear that. So many girls I know have went the other way and it saddens me.:( But talking to someone like you I know the faithfull ones are still out there.:D
Yup, I'm right here, I despise people who are unfaithful, I'm a huge believer in if you're in a relationship you stick to that one person, if not then end it because you're obviously not in love. :D
No problem sentra, I'm glad to hear that. So many girls I know have went the other way and it saddens me.:( But talking to someone like you I know the faithfull ones are still out there.:D
Yup, I'm right here, I despise people who are unfaithful, I'm a huge believer in if you're in a relationship you stick to that one person, if not then end it because you're obviously not in love. :D
SkunkSI
11-05-2002, 10:47 AM
Originally posted by hybridsol
No problem sentra, I'm glad to hear that. So many girls I know have went the other way and it saddens me.:( But talking to someone like you I know the faithfull ones are still out there.:D
i'm shure she's a fershman or sofmore give her a couple of years hybrid, you judge to quickly.;) sorry, I see this every other day.
No problem sentra, I'm glad to hear that. So many girls I know have went the other way and it saddens me.:( But talking to someone like you I know the faithfull ones are still out there.:D
i'm shure she's a fershman or sofmore give her a couple of years hybrid, you judge to quickly.;) sorry, I see this every other day.
speediva
11-05-2002, 12:27 PM
Originally posted by SkunkSI
i'm shure she's a fershman or sofmore give her a couple of years hybrid, you judge to quickly.;) sorry, I see this every other day.
Jeepers, dude, what a downer!!! I'm a junior in college (at my 3rd college at that) and I have had 2 LONG DISTANCE relationships during that time to which I was faithful. And don't go trying to twist my words on me. I also had 2 other relationships that were "local" which I never even considered cheating on.
Now that I'm away at my third school, and darn near having to pick and choose whom I date, it is a little bit harder to decide who would be the most respectable choice. And yes, at the beginning of a relationship, it's really just a choice of whom you think you like.
In addition, it's also easy for me to say that I currently have choices that leave me outside of the bounds of what most people would consider a "normal age limit". But who cares?
i'm shure she's a fershman or sofmore give her a couple of years hybrid, you judge to quickly.;) sorry, I see this every other day.
Jeepers, dude, what a downer!!! I'm a junior in college (at my 3rd college at that) and I have had 2 LONG DISTANCE relationships during that time to which I was faithful. And don't go trying to twist my words on me. I also had 2 other relationships that were "local" which I never even considered cheating on.
Now that I'm away at my third school, and darn near having to pick and choose whom I date, it is a little bit harder to decide who would be the most respectable choice. And yes, at the beginning of a relationship, it's really just a choice of whom you think you like.
In addition, it's also easy for me to say that I currently have choices that leave me outside of the bounds of what most people would consider a "normal age limit". But who cares?
SentraGirl
11-05-2002, 01:24 PM
Originally posted by SkunkSI
i'm shure she's a fershman or sofmore give her a couple of years hybrid, you judge to quickly.;) sorry, I see this every other day.
It doesn't matter what year I'm in. For your information I am a sophomore but what does a year mean? NOTHING. It's who you are not what year you're in, sorry to tell you. :D
i'm shure she's a fershman or sofmore give her a couple of years hybrid, you judge to quickly.;) sorry, I see this every other day.
It doesn't matter what year I'm in. For your information I am a sophomore but what does a year mean? NOTHING. It's who you are not what year you're in, sorry to tell you. :D
Damien
11-10-2002, 01:09 AM
I have the problem a lot. I'm 1 and a Junior. the sophomores are to immature same with the freshmen yet every Junior is older than me so.....life just sucks today. :(
SentraGirl
11-10-2002, 01:51 PM
Originally posted by Damien
I have the problem a lot. I'm 1 and a Junior.
You're 1?:confused:
I have the problem a lot. I'm 1 and a Junior.
You're 1?:confused:
speediva
11-10-2002, 04:36 PM
Originally posted by Damien
I have the problem a lot. I'm 1 and a Junior. the sophomores are to immature same with the freshmen yet every Junior is older than me so.....life just sucks today. :(
Despite your age typo, I feel your pain. I graduated at 17, and I even could have graduated earlier if I had pushed myself. I was easily one of the 10 youngest in my class. Don't worry. People grow up and then suddenly age doesn't matter; it becomes who you are that matters.
I have the problem a lot. I'm 1 and a Junior. the sophomores are to immature same with the freshmen yet every Junior is older than me so.....life just sucks today. :(
Despite your age typo, I feel your pain. I graduated at 17, and I even could have graduated earlier if I had pushed myself. I was easily one of the 10 youngest in my class. Don't worry. People grow up and then suddenly age doesn't matter; it becomes who you are that matters.
hybridsol
11-10-2002, 10:45 PM
Originally posted by SentraGirl
You're 1?:confused:
wow, child prodigy?
You're 1?:confused:
wow, child prodigy?
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